CHAAR KADAM - An AmVeer Fanfiction

Eighty Part 2

Summary: the eve of mahabharata

The man Amrit had written about in her letter, ambles across the grounds of Huzeinabadh, going from one lamppost to another - lighting a trail of light as if fireflies were fidgeting within their glass cages. Amrit follows his progress from the window - mind, decidedly elsewhere.  

"Should you be sitting on the floor?" Veer asks her in alarm as he enters, at the end of his meeting Manju had left him with the rolled stack of papers in his hand. He comes to stand by her, making Amrit crane her neck to look up at him. Veer knocks her on the head gently with the papers; a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. "Uttho! the floor is too cold for you to be doing that."

"It's not," Amrit tugs at his hand, prompting him to sit down facing her. Veer complies, appreciatively stretching out his legs and leaning against a pillar, allowing the moment's peace to finally descend upon him. 

Despite its many residents Huzeinabadh had a peace that was hard to dissipate. It was one of the things that Veer appreciated about this estate of his friend, its detachment from the worldly troubles outside and the silence which wasn't the accusatory - melancholic one of his own home. Amrit watches him contemplate for a moment, then moves her feet to cover his. Heat of his skin makes her acutely aware of how chilly her toes had gotten. 

"Reminds you of Mahabharata," Veer says after a moment, "doesn't it? This stillness before chaos."

"Kal kya honga?"

"Yudh."

His answer is simple, but not quite the thing Amrit wants. She watches him, anxiety flickering in her eyes. 

"I don't think its a coincidence that the all candidate media briefing and Panchayat ended up on the same date. Especially when the Panchayat didn't think it necessary to inform me when they are sitting to discuss my own fate. Therefore tomorrow, something would surely happen that will either keep me from attending the Panchayat or those men from deciding in my favor."

"Exactly how far is her reach?"  

"Her reach?" He shrugs, "It's Chandra Singh Rathod's reach that matters. And all the moldy dark places - has his roots somewhere."

A soft sigh leaves Amrti. 

"To know everything and still being unable to act is a torture in itself," she says, eyes returning to the now lamp lit yard outside. "I could only imagine what it must have been for Baba Sahab. Humse ek raat ghuzari nahi jaa rahe - unhone poora zindagi ghuzaar diye."

Veer closes his eyes for a moment, not wishing to spill the pain of those recollections. 

"All it takes is one woman - to make or unmake a man."

He reaches across and takes her hand in his. 

"I don't even want to imagine coming this far without you." 

Her smile has the faint glow of the lamp light outside. 

"You wouldn't have to. Not today - not tomorrow - not years from now."
*

On a different day, as a different man - Randheer would have been pleased to realize that Veer envied him, no matter what the reason that drove him to such petty emotion. That big brother of his, who walked around as if he was somehow superior to all others; would seldom hunch his shoulders and turn away in obvious defeat.
But any idea of glee vanishes as he met his adoptive mother's gaze. Preet watches him with the eyes of a stranger, or rather eyes of a courtier having no time or enthusiasm to entertain his troubles. During the last few months of dealing with the Panchayat had made him quite familiar with that sort of gaze.
But this was his mother staring after Veer long after he was gone and Amrit had followed. Randheer swallows the bitter taste it left in his mouth and reaches to touch her feet. Preet denies him that small consolation as she stands up, folding her arms while she eyes him with obvious disdain.
“Yeh aap kya kar rahe hain chote Kuwar Sa?” Of all possible barbs she chooses politeness to hurt him with. Randheer has to blink back the sudden pricking in his eyes. “I don’t deserve this sort of respect.”
“What are you saying Ma?” He fumbles over the question. “Nothing has changed between us. I have not changed.”
“Have you not?” In her eyes is a pointed look. She makes him falter without even attempting to answer her question. “You have forgotten how I raised you. Broken every link between us. Left me no hope of finding the child I raised.”
“And what do you expect me to do?” Randheer snapped, his patience worn thin with long days handling Rani Ma and her errant moods finally catching up on him. “You kept me away from my mother for so long - kept me unaware of my reality. I could have died in Lahore and never known the truth! What do you expect me to do?”
Preet’s cold look remains.
“I expected you to be a human,” she said shortly. “It is not just Amrit who you have disappointed.”
“You are just like her,” he accuses bitterly. “Both of you see nothing beyond Veer.”
“And have you wondered why…?”
That gives him a pause. For the first time he sees that beyond cold indifference Preet holds him in a rather bitter understanding; in her eyes he sees pity.
“Have you ever wondered why you lost us? Lost the man who you were? And why are we still with Veer? Veer baba may have his thorns, no man grows up into this life without claws of his own but you - despite nurturing with such love, despite everything being laid at your feet - you grew your own poison. You ended up just like that woman who bore you, despite ever seeing her. You'd express love and in the same breath, without beating an eyelid you'd talk of taking their lives.”
"Ma - I haven't-"
"Don't call me Ma! Just don't!" She waves her hands. "And don't think I know nothing about your schemes. If we weren't brought before one another today - if we didn't have this conversation- you would justify what you would have allowed to happen next."
"Ma you don't understand the danger you are walking into -"
"You are still doing it Prem Sa," Preet bites out. "Still justifying your vile ways as other people's choices. Kher, mubarak ho. Try to make your peace with your demons. With our ghosts, because I will not wait anymore. Neither will Kuwar Rani Sa, who you claimed to love once. Try and see if this self deception helps you sleep at night - after snatching a crown that should never come within your grasp."
She gathered her things, briskly, as if the very motion of leaving cut off her ties with the son she raised.
"Shravan Sahab, I'm ready to leave."
"Ma…"
Preet casts one last look at him.
"Decades may have gone, Prem Sa, but you are still falling, you still haven't found your ground. And just like then, you fall taking others along with you. There's still time, find your standing. Find your place. Good night."
**