The day finally came. That was finally released. Left from inside, into the outside world. Nobody believes it. They all think I just made it up, like some sort of joke.
The night before everybody knew about that, I was sitting in my room, past my bed-time, sobbing. I looked in my mirror, as my messy hair, my scraped arm, my tear-filled cheeks, the redness of crying, was pretty obvious. Even from a distance. I screamed it at myself, to the point of where I started to laugh, like a maniac. I looked away from my mirror, glancing at my closet behind me. I gently shut it, saying "I don't need you anymore.."
(Note : Yes, this is literally, me, coming out of the closet. It's how it felt, what actually happened, but not everything's included.)
I was on the bus, chatting with one of the only few people I told. They glance back at me, saying "Do they know yet?"
One of my other friends pipes up behind me, speaking "About what?"
My stomach forms a tight squeeze. Thoughts ramble out through my mind. What if I told them. What if his parents find out? It would turn into the ultimate catastrophe.
In the background, I can hear "What do you mean? What's this about?" I glance at him, seeing if he'll help me out. He obviously notices me. "I'm not helping you. You gotta do it yourself. Like I said, I'm not supporting you."
I look back over at my other friend. We make a plan, nobody knowing what it's about.
When we arrive at school, I walk into the girls washroom after putting my stuff away, with one of the people I haven't told out of billions. Why her? Well, simple. She was the easiest person to tell. She didn't make any jokes about it so it's obvious she wasn't against it.
I hold my hands up to my face, covering my nose and mouth, closing my eyes. I can feel her looking at me. I repeat it in my head, just as I have always planned it to go. I let out the news.
"I'm.. homosexual."
She immediately hugs me as I burst into tears. I hug her close to me, my heart beating fast. Relief. It was done and over. 05/05/15 would be the date I'd remember for my entirety of my life. The other date I'd remember would be when his parents find out...
I walk into the cafeteria after about five minutes. A decently quick recovery, if you think about it. I hold two thumbs up to the people who know about it. I'm smiling. I've never felt "happy" like this. It's so.. amazing.
Immediately after re-cooping, the news is let out to the people who sit at my table. One of them immediately say "With who?" We all start dying of laughter.
The news gets around quickly. I tell my teacher, who already knew about it, and we high-five. This day, is one of the best days of my life.
When we get on the bus and leave, it's an avalanche of questions. Like how did you find out, who do you have a crush on (yes, she already knows now. I blush every time I hear about me having a crush on her. He told her about it.), How long have you known, do your parents know, why dd you choose today, ect, ect.
When I get home, I sit down in my computer chair. I send the news to all who I know virtually, but I'm still waiting to tell one person. He's helped me a bunch through this. His true name is a mystery, but I will remember him for all of my life. He's told me whenever I say 'I didn't come out today..', that it would occur one day. He was right. It's an amazing thing to feel...
Inside the closet, it feels like you're trapped between four walls, and the only way to get out is to last the squeeze to the exit. The walls are closing fast, so it's bad to waste time. You feel pain, depression, suicidal, angry, questioning, and every single gay or lesbian joke made, locks up your voicebox.
(Note: This is all true. And yes, he will know exactly who he is.)
