Now that I'm not as stressed, everything is going amazing. I can actually smile, without it being fake. Of course, everybody else believed that smile on my face, apart from him. He was the first person to know about my sexuality. He was the reason I kept on going. I was ready to give in at some points, and hide it for the rest of my life, but he helped me back up.
Without us meeting, I wouldn't be here. I would have ended my life, just there. I had faced a lot of stress before the thought even happened. I suffered bullying, high anxiety, over-emotional, suicidal thoughts. Those are just a few to list off. I was called multiple things, just for stupid opinions I had.
I had to leave the city, the daycare, the people, the school, everything I grew up with, the place and people I lived with, just gone. Like dirt or dust on a windy day. I moved to the school two doors down from me for 4 months.
Him and I went to that same school. We noticed each other even once looked at each other directly. I thought he was one of the coolest guys around the school, so I stayed away. I was just one of those transfer students, too shy to talk to anyone. Of course, I made a few close friends. I still keep in contact with them, but not much.
Finally, the school I will be in for 6 years of my life. Him and I met here. For the first two months, I tried to stay away from him, but everybody was friends with him, apart from me. I was sitting with the two people that transfered from my first school at lunch and snack, day after day. Him and I were on the same bus, but I was silent. Everybody else talked to him, whilst I sat there in the corner of the seat, just looking out the window for an hour, occasionally talking to my bus driver. Until, one day, we met.
It was fantastic. He was that one person that I was looking to be best friends with in my life. He was amazing. He made me laugh to the point of crying, we'd goof around, tell eachother our problems and actually listen, and a whole bunch of other stuff. We had the rest of our entire lives planned out. We planned to be lawyers. Criminal lawyers. He planned out to be a defense attorney, while I planned to be a prosecutor. We'd go to college to earn a degree to go to the Toronto Law School, then after that, it was International, baby.
To this day, I think about how hard coming out would have been without him. I would've bursted down crying, without anybody to hug. Nobody to comfort me. I would've been alone..
(Yes, this is basically a thank-you letter to him. Thank you for everything you've done for me, and for always being there.)
