Do you ever get that feeling, that when you try to do something for somebody, you get a rush of low self esteem?
So do I. In fact, it happened only a few nights ago. Somebody who I hold very close to my damaged heart was wanting to hear my voice, and play my guitar.. Before then, I was getting rushes of tears, anxiety, and my heart was racing. To most people, saying a few words to somebody is easy, because you're able to be right in front of them.
This is not the case..
I am plenty more than a days worth away from this person. He treats me like I'm the best person in the world, and since that one day, he has drastically boosted my self-esteem to a much higher level. Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I feel like I'm amazing.
Now, to those who know me personally. Don't go ranting on about me. I don't care if you think I'm one of the ugliest people you've seen in your life. Hell, I wouldn't even care if you compared me to the Pokemon, Muk.
Anyways, this person has really boosted me up when I felt like giving up on myself. I don't know how I would have gotten through the last three days without him. I probably would have curled up into my bathroom, crying.
The reason why? I'm heading to Toronto tomorrow, and one of my new gained fear are crowds. At least I get to ride a train for the first time, right? I will be gone for the whole day, and I'm very scared. I will be gone without my guitar.. Just my tablet, cellphone, sketchpad, and 3DS. Yay for me..
I really don't want to go. I just wanna stay home in my pajamas and curled in my Winnie the Pooh blanket. I don't know how my Legs'll manage. The earliest Ill be home by is 8PM. Well, wish me luck, I guess.
(Note: Yes this is meant for somebody very close to me. This isn't anybody who I know physically.. yet. I wanted to write more, but he's so amazing I cant even describe him ;~;)
PPS: Probably gonna be editing this a lot since there's way more I can say about him vuv
