Why can't I be like them? -trophy angst-

Why? - 1

beep, beep, bee-

I hit the button on the alarm clock next to my bed and pull the blankets over my head.

It's 6am and most of the objects are waking up already for breakfast.

All I want to do is sleep in for the morning. Breakfast is always so loud and chaotic, and no one will ever shut up.

I just want to drift away to sleep forever. But oj wouldn't let that happen, he's always making sure everyone's accounted for and up by 12am at the latest. He really is just a nuisance to be honest.

I accept my fate and slowly get out of bed to make my way downstairs for breakfast, i walk over to the door but stop when hearing voices. I lean against the door to listen to what their saying.

"Trophy's such a fricking loser"

"Hahaha I know,all he ever does is make fun of other people"

"Yeah! And He's probably isn't even as strong as he brags about being"

"Pfftt- I know, he's always talking about how much stronger he is and how we should all try to be more like him."

"Exactly! I mean like, who does he even think he is!?"

Their voice slowly fade away into the distance as I back away from the door and sit down on my bed

I sit there for what felt like hours staring into nothing trying to process what just happened.

I don't understand what I'm feeling. I don't- I- what am I....

I lay down on the bed and shove my head into the pillow and start crying.

I can't stop crying and it feels hard to breath. I start hyperventilating and hiccuping, I can't stop I don't know why I just can't.

I've never felt this way before, I don't know why I'm acting like this. I should be the though one, so why am I crying like this?

I lift my head up from the pillow and try to calm down.

Maybe look around the room would help? Yeah- yeah- that sound like it would work.

Ok uhhh- there's some papers by the trash can,  the bathroom light is on, the tv remote is on my dresser, and a knife on cheesy's dresser....?

What if....i..used the knife to cu-

NO! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING!

I CANT DO THAT- THAT WOULD BE CRAZY! WHY WOULD I EVER THINK ANYTHING LIKE THAT EVER!

I hit my head a couple of times trying to snap my self out of it.

"Though on the other hand...it would make sense wouldn't it?"

I pick up the knife

"They obviously don't want me here"

I bring the knife closer to my arm

"I always hear them talking badly about me"

I press the tip firmly against my skin

"But I shouldn't leave just yet"

Blood starts to drip down from my skin where the knife is

"So in the meantime I'll just inflict as much pain as I deserve"

I drag the knife across my arm creating a clean cut by my wrist

"nuisance"

I do it again

"Loser"

And again

"Worthless"

Again

"bastered"

Again

"Asshole"

Again

The blood trickles down my arm dripping on the floor. at this point half of my arm is covered in cuts and blood with no room for anymore.

I get up from my bed with the knife and walk over to the bathroom.

I turn on the sink and wash the blood off the knife and my arm.

I reach over and grab a paper towel and dry off my arm and knife, then go over to the closet and grab some bandage wrap putting it on my arm.

I walk out of the bathroom and place the knife back on cheesy's dresser.

12:30am

"shit..." I mumbled to myself

I missed breakfast and lunch

OJ will probably be checking up on me soon so I'll just pretend I slept in.

I lay down on my bed and pull the blankets over me as I drift away to sleep....

—— ahhhhhh yes! I finished this chapter!!!!! This is the first time I've written an angst fanfic and actually liked it!!!! Anyway thank you for reading this chapter! Words: 704 ——