This is the Tiger Awards.
We are currently judging. No more contestants can join.
It's a shame I couldn't have more. Maybe next year I'll do something better.
Warning- this is a VERY long and VERY harsh critique. But @the_mf_world you (like all writers) need other people to tell them the weakness of their writing because it's the best way to improve your technique.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The title is actually quite good- it gets across the struggle of the story very well. But the cover makes it impossible to see. I think incorporating character art into a title can be a struggle and I think you did your best- but I would utilise Wattpad's ability to insert pictures into your work anywhere you want. I would maybe put your character drawings at the start of the first few chapters. But that's just me. The fact that you have reviews before the blurb I something that I found incredibly off-putting but the blurb itself is a very good hook into your story.
Characters: I appreciate that this is going to be hard to hear- but your characters are incredibly boring to read about. Jahruno and Mariya's chemistry is just cringe-worthy- they have known each other for an evening (+a phone call) and suddenly they are all over each other. It's just really dull- the fact that they don't argue or disagree makes them feel robotic. I found your other character's hard to empathize with as well. Although I think the main problem with your writing leads to my next point.
Writing style: I think that the way you write action is easily your greatest strength- you can create interesting and fast-paced fight scenes. But when your characters are too powerful this technique becomes very stale very quickly. The length of your chapters makes them hard to follow as well as the earlier ones being sticky with exposition. In earlier chapters, your humour is also a tad cheesy, but in later chapters, it improves in leaps and bounds.
But the way that you write your story makes it incredibly hard to follow what's going on- especially in dialogue-heavy scenes. If the script thing is just 'your style' then that's fine- but I think it puts a lot of people off your story. I try to make my prose interesting by including character movements.
Consider this:
Jahruno: M-Mrs. Hieri???
Mrs. Hieri: Yes, it's me
They hug each other for a moment.
Jahruno: I was so scared...
Vs this:
Jahruno's red eyes water as he ran toward Dionte's mother, burying his face into her clothes and taking in several deep breaths. When he pulls away his face is soaked with snot and tears. "M-Mrs. Hieri?" The woman smiled- her eyes crinkling as Jahruno's aura flickered in and out of visibility.
"I'm back dear. It's ok." The woman opened her arms and Jahruno, tentatively this time, slipped into Mrs Hieri's warm embrace. "I was so scared-" The woman's face hardened as Jahruno continued to weep into her shoulder.
"I need- no. We all need you to look out for yourself now. You're going to win this blasted tournament and you're going to put that pompous Dolche in his place. You understand?"
Jahruno drew back and nodded solemnly. "I will- I promise."
But *grabs you and shakes you vigorously* I need you to keep on writing this story and to keep improving yourself. The skeleton of this story is good- but it's just everything else that needs tweaks and adjustments. Don't you dare stop writing because you think I hate this story. Is that understood?
Best Quotes:
"Don't try to downplay her skills because she's a girl. You think that's why I want to fight her? I see her as a warrior just like myself."
