THE WESTBURY HIGH FILES

Twelve /Harry

I felt cold. It was like I was full of snow, ears clogged and breath foggy. I rarely shouted. I listened to the flow of insults and the fake encouragement my parents threw. Sunday night was a disaster. Avery bought me a coffee and made me feel better. Going home was hesitant. I don't remember what I said, but they hurt Dad enough for him to start slamming doors. Slamming doors was when I knew that I would be deprived of something I loved. Deprived of music. Deprived of time with Avery. I stopped and swallowed, stepping out early. I retreated into my bedroom. I didn't study. I couldn't care.

I just slept, which was rare.

Awakening early, breaking into school, sleeping on the couches in the library from four am until open. It was one of the small things that Avery didn't know I did. It was one of the things that I wished I could tell Avery. She would find out about it sooner or later. I closed my eyes, for a second. I could still feel the burning of my cheeks. But now it was cold. Curled up on a couch in my shabby worn uniform. It wasn't the worst sleeping situation; at least there was heating.

I awoke with a start as someone kicked him in the foot.

'Mmm whozat?' I squinted up at the figure.

'Yo It's Samarth and you're sleeping on the job.'

'What job?' I pushed myself up onto elbows, rubbing my eyes with one hand.

'The you-have-a-test-in-ten-minutes job,' Samarth said, chuckling. I went a little red in my cheeks. 'You really are pretty pathetic.' He added, mainly to himself. Fuck, am I?

'Oh shit.' It computed and I jolted. A slice of pain shot through my forehead, I winced and rubbed it. 

'You alright dude?' Samarth asked, genuinely worried. He made me a little sweaty; he was very attractive.

'Yeah, just a headache.' I looked around at the stressed year twelves covering the tables. Some had taken refuge on the floor. Notes and flashcards out, desperately trying to get some last-minute revision time. It was too late for me to do that. Ten minutes until Maths Methods. Yikes. Sometimes I hate how I sabotage myself.

'Oh yeah, Avery's looking for you,' Samarth said. 'I think I saw her near the lockers last, with the new girl.'

'Oh sweet. Is she doing alright?'

'How am I supposed to know, man? She's your friend. She did look stressed though. But I could be wrong.' Samarth shrugged, 'Anyway I gotta dash, got my music performance assignment to nail. See ya later alligator.' He disappeared into the sea of teens. I forgot about his kind brown eyes for a moment; Avery was stressed. I had been so wrapped up in my own life, completely forgetting about my closest friend. Fuck, why couldn't I have been a better friend? I really was a pathetic excuse of a human. I wanted to scream.