Stigmata

I am not a Mouse

A two story manse with a north and south wing, a vast garden, and a courtyard for entertaining guests, Einsam Palace might have once been worthy of its name. Alas, it, like many other so called 'palaces', had lain abandoned as the royal family shrank generation after generation. Many windows were cracked and clouded over with layers of dust visible from the outside, the garden was wild and overgrown, vines climbed the walls and ate through the once pristine blue plaster. Being placed here was no accident. It was a direct insult to the Noble Faction whom I'd aligned myself with. But that was only true in this life. The original Theo was also sent to this desolate palace, but she had done nothing but obey her royal father. What sin did she commit to be shunted aside even after leaving the monastery? Even after reading the books so many times, I never understood it.

Living as Theo, now, I knew there was more to the story than the books portrayed. Perhaps I would be able to find some justice for the poor child I had replaced.

Aiyah~, who was I kidding? Any justice I found would be for me. Theo no longer had to suffer in this world that was literally designed to torture her. She was free from it all. I wasn't bitter about it, not anymore. The original Theo was a gentle soul befitting the title of Saintess, but it was that soft nature which in many ways led to her suffering. I would never claim to deserve the power and prestige being a Saintess and Princess gave me, but I would never stand around and let them be used against me the way Theo did. As the daughter of a single mother in the modern world, I was raised to always speak up against unfair treatment and to take up as much space as I felt I was owed. I would not pretend to be small so that others could feel big. That was the legacy my true mother left me, along with my near perfect memory of the story I was now stuck in.

Sometimes I wondered if my actions would change the words of the books she loved so much, if she would notice and recognize her child in the pages.

But not right now. No, now was not the time to wallow.

The inside of the Einsam Palace was in much better condition than its exterior. The tiles were waxed and the carpets clean. If one was accustomed to surrounding themselves with the kind of opulence that defined the rest of the Royal Estate, they would no doubt turn up their nose at a place like this. I, for one, found the distinct lack of gold filigree to be refreshing. The paintings on the walls were beautiful and the tapestries heritage works of art. Sure, it was all way too much for one person and her maid, but Taylor and I wouldn't be the only ones living here.

Speaking of...

I took deliberately long strides through the foyer, my footsteps echoing loudly through the cavernous space. I turned to the queen's maid and dipped my chin to her—more acknowledgement than someone of her station likely ever received.

"Thank you for your kind escort. I can manage my affairs from here on out."

It was a dismissal, but I had no doubt she would take those words to the queen and she would understand their meaning even if her maid did not, though that was unlikely. Anyone who spent a long time in the palace would have to be as well versed in double speak as the queen herself.

The maid didn't bat an eye as she curtseyed to me and showed herself out. That left me and Taylor alone in the foyer.

I sighed and Taylor stifled a laugh behind her hand. "Are you alright, Your Highness? Shall I...find the head maid?"

There it was. The next in what would no doubt be a long line of petty displays of disrespect. I was hardly familiar with how these things were supposed to go, but my dear aunt made sure to teach me what a woman in my position should expect.

One of which was being greeted by the servants when arriving at my palace.

"Let us find her together," I said with a smile that Taylor returned. "I would hate to be made a liar on my first day in residence."

It was time to manage my affairs.

The rest of Einsam Palace matched the foyer rather well. The fanciest décor consisted of paintings and tapestries and maybe the occasional sculpture, but there were no grotesque displays of wealth like the ones I saw at my uncle's manor. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was the home of an impoverished noble house, clinging desperately to their inheritance. That would make a far more interesting story than the one I was living in, surely.

Aiyah~, I made myself sad.

At least living here wouldn't be too difficult. I don't know what I would have done if the palace was decorated like the books described; filled with marble and gold. I guess my sudden arrival in the capitol didn't give them enough time to fill the rooms with useless knickknacks.

I led the way down the halls with Taylor following two steps behind my right shoulder. I had no idea where I was going, but that was fine. The longer I spent wandering around in my own home, the more leverage I would have over the servants when I found them.

The smell of cooking food reached my nose and I was suddenly all too aware of how long ago breakfast was. I hadn't eaten too much due to my nerves over meeting the king, so I was especially hungry now.

Well, the cook could hardly kick me out of the kitchen, right?

With that thought I immediately corrected my course and followed my nose down a side hall that was probably meant to be used only by servants. It led us straight to an open door from which the sound of laughter and the smell of food spilled forth. Part of me hated to spoil their fun, but the rest of me was too hungry—and petty—to care. I stepped through the doorway.

Einsam Palace's kitchens were smaller than I expected, but my perspective might have been skewed by the great hearths at the monastery. These kitchens didn't need to feed hundreds of acolytes, initiates, paladins, and priests, after all. The atmosphere here was also very different. There were at most ten people in the kitchens, though only one was actually cooking. There were adults and children of various ages all seated around clean wooden tables and chatting happily among themselves, like a little family. How cute.

Too bad they noticed me so soon.

The only one who didn't freeze was the cook—good for him, minding the fires even while distracted—and I instantly felt bad for intruding. All of my prior confidence disappeared under the weight of so many eyes. I was clearly the intruder here, with my expensive clothing and royal visage. How many times had I been in their shoes, working at the monastery while some well to do donor was given a tour? I knew exactly how they felt, like mice caught feasting by the cat.

When had I become the cat?

Well, this cat has never eaten a mouse in her life, thank you. In fact, I love mice. I was raised by mice.

I did my best to smile kindly at the startled group, but I think it just made things worse. "Do forgive the interruption, I didn't mean to ruin the mood."

It was like my words were a catalyst of action. The servants all leapt to their feet and lined up before me, looking terrified. The younger children in the group looked confused, but they picked up on the adults' terror and regarded me like some kind of monster. It was a little hurtful, if I was honest. And I made an effort to be.

"I'm sorry to have caused such a fuss." I gathered my skirts in one hand and then let them go, as if I was about to curtsey only to suddenly remember I shouldn't. I bit at my lower lip and furrowed my brows in a show of unease. I turned to leave. "I should go. Taylor—."

As expected someone tried to stop me. "A-a moment, your ladyship," an older gentleman said with a voice that shook with either fear or age or both. Probably both. "Do forgive our impertinence, but...who are you?"

...

Huh?