The Love I Found

Chapter 5

I am dying to tell Marissa about what happened. But on the other hand, I feel like what Cal and I shared was something special. Something to keep close to my heart to think about whenever I’m having a bad day. Marissa doesn't need to know about it. Besides, if I tell her she will only claim that she had been right all along, and I don't want to hear her bragging.

I decide to keep my mouth shut about anything concerning Cal Jones. Better yet, I'm not even going to think about him while I sit on the curb next to Marissa. If I do, she will notice me smiling to myself, and she'll never stop pestering me with questions.

I will watch the boys play ball hockey, and I will not think about Cal.
I will watch the boys play ball hockey, and I will not think about Cal.
I will watch the boys play ball hockey, and I will not think about…

Cal's black Converse appear in my field of vision, and he sits down on the curb next to me. His shoulder brushes against mine, and I try to move closer to Marissa, hoping she will catch on and move over. She catches on alright, but she holds her ground. The traitor.

Marissa leans forward to get a better look at Cal, a picture perfect smile lighting up her already perfect face.

"Cal," she greets cheerfully, "are you thinking about joining the guys in their game? Ricky's team could sure use you, I'll bet."

He shakes his head. "I'm not really one for team sports."

Marissa snorts. "That's probably because you're such a loner."

I glare at Marissa, thinking she may have hurt Cal's feelings.

His shoulder moves against mine again as he shrugs. "Probably," he agrees.

A silence falls over the three of us, other than the repetitive sound of Marissa chewing her gum. The chew, chew, snap song is back in full swing. Save me now.

Cal reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. As he brings one to his lips and flicks his lighter, Marissa pulls a face. "That's disgusting, you know."

He nods and holds out the open pack in our direction. "I do know. Want one?"

Marissa pauses, visibly mulling it over in her little head, then sticks her nose in the air. "No," she speaks adamantly, as if she hadn't just been considering it. Then she turns her gaze back to the hockey players as if Cal and his cigarettes are of no interest to her.

Cal shrugs, and his eyes meet mine. He exhales a puff of smoke, blowing it in a direction that keeps it from going directly into my face. "How about you, angel-face?"

Marissa's head whips back in our direction, and I'm not sure if it's because of Cal's use of the word "angel-face" or because she wants to hear my answer.

I ignore her scrutinizing gaze and try to play it cool. "Sure," I answer, though I don't feel sure at all. Smoking has always intrigued me and though I know it is bad for you, I can't help but be fascinated by the way the smoke curls out of Cal's lips.

He moves his hand with the pack closer to me and treats me with one of his small smiles as I pull one out of the pack. I place it between my lips and wonder if it looks as unnatural as it feels.

"Inhale," Cal instructs as he leans in close. He cups his hand next to the cigarette in my mouth and flicks his lighter.

I do as I'm told and watch as he lights the end. Then I burst into a fit of coughing.

"Easy there, easy," Cal coaxes, his hand smoothing down my back in one slow movement. "Just inhale a little at a time. Hold it, then exhale."

I nod and try again. This time I barely feel a tickle as the smoke comes out of my lips. Cal's eyes are fixed on my mouth, and since he doesn't correct me, I take another puff.

"There you go," his praise comes out softly as his eyes flick to mine. He takes another drag of his cigarette, and then his gaze falls back to my mouth as I once again exhale.

"Amelia!"

Marissa's shout of disapproval causes me to jump slightly, and I tear my eyes off of Cal to look back at her. I had pretty well forgotten all about her presence. If only forgetting about her had actually made her disappear for a while...

"It's Emilia," Cal corrects calmly, putting extra emphasis on the “Em” as he flicks the ash off of the end of his cigarette.

I find myself wanting to laugh, considering he himself had only learned my real name last night.

"What?" Marissa asks, clearly confused. She looks from Cal to me. "Why haven't you corrected me before?"

I shrug. "It doesn't really matter..."

Cal quirks a brow. "It fucking matters. Stand up for yourself every once and a while, will ya?"

I don't know what to say to that, so I lift the cigarette to my mouth again.

In no time, Cal's cigarette is burned down to the filter, and he butts it out against the pavement.

"Tell Ricky I'm heading over to his place. I'll wait in the garage for him to finish up his game." He reaches for my cigarette and plucks it right out of my mouth, placing it between his lips and murmuring around it, "Catch you later," as he pushes himself to his feet.

"Hey!" I call out in protest, even surprising myself. A little more softly I add, "I wasn't done with that."

Cal takes a long drag and crouches down in front of me. "That's better," he speaks fondly after pulling the cigarette from his mouth. He moves it toward me, and I can only stare at him as he places the filter between my lips. "Just like that. You stick up for yourself. Tell people what you do and don't want. Correct them when they get your fucking name wrong."

I nod, and he gives a quick smile as he tucks me under the chin with the side of his finger. "Later, Emy."

He turns to Marissa, who is uncharacteristically silent and watching us with huge eyes. He gives her a small nod. "Marissa."

And then he is standing again and walking down the sidewalk, a fresh cigarette already taken out of the pack and brought to his lips.

"Not interested in you, my ass," Marissa comments as we watch him round the corner.

This time, I don't deny it.