Ice-heart

Ch-29 letter

Jungkook's pov

I stare at the envelope. It had been waiting for me in the mailbox this morning. There's no stamp, only my name on the front, written in his handwriting. Jungkook.

He must have hand delivered it. He'd been that close-just downstairs-and I hadn't known. I'd been here in my apartment, stress cleaning or ironing or doing whatever other semi-productive thing I could during the days, waiting for my work contract with Ryu to start.

I don't know what I would have done if I knew he'd been downstairs, to be honest. If he'd texted me and asked me to come down. I'd have been panicked, of course. Excited. I want to see him-it's like an itch under my skin, the lack of communication between us, even if I'm the one initiating it.

Am I being a fool for needing space?

The envelope is lying innocently on my coffee table. Despite my staring, it's not giving me any answers. Jimin, who has taken to staying over several times a week, gives me a disapproving shake of the head. "Are you actually going to open it? You've been staring at it for half an hour."

"I'm not sure I want to know what it says."

He sits down opposite me. "What do you want it to say?"

I look at the envelope again, at my name scribbled across the top. He'd called several times after I walked out of his office. I hadn't answered a single time.

"I don't know," I say.

He shoots me a crooked smile, like he doesn't believe me. "You want it to make things better between the two of you."

"Yes. But I can't see how it could. What happened..."

"Was seriously messed up," he fills in. "And it's perfectly understandable that you're still upset about it."

"Yes."

"Your self-confidence was hurt."

"Yes," I say again, weaker now.

Jimin leans forward and puts a hand on my knee. He's just put a loaf of bread into my oven, and the scent in my apartment is divine. Thank God for being in betweenjobs when you also have a best friend who mostly works nights.

"And I get why. We both do. But what happened wasn't like with Eun Ilsung. Taehyung didn't try to cut you out of his project. He didn't imply to companies around the city that you made improper advances. He is suing that asshole for slander."

"I know that."

"You do rationally, but you're in exactly the same state as after you were fired from Eun. Worse, actually."

I roll my eyes. "Thanks."

"I'm a harsh friend, I know. But you love it, and frankly, you need it at the moment. This whole thing hit you right where you're weakest. Punished for your ambition. Your looks made out to be something dirty. And Taehyung and you... well, I'm guessing you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with him. And then it all came crashing down, and the issues are mixing in your head, when they're actually very separate things."

I look up at the ceiling and feel hollow inside, like I've been emptied completely. "When did you get so wise, huh?"

There's a smile in his voice. "People talk to bartenders a lot. More than they should, probably. And I've known you a long time."

"I know what I don't want the letter to say. That he's saying goodbye for real."

"See? Progress!" The sofa dips as he sits down next to me. "Do you miss him?"