Broken From Above Powers

Chapter 6

*Mal*

A week passed where Jay didn't speak, he was paying attention and aware of everything but he just wouldn't or couldn't talk.

Back on the Isle, when Jay had told us huge news or had a particularly rough night or day at home, he would sometimes not talk. He would still communicate with us, we even started making signals so we could talk, of a sort, when he couldn't speak, but he's not even using that - not even with Carlos.

If I'm correct, he's buried the acknowledgement of that happening to him deep down and has ignored it, merely suffering the night terrors and then ignoring the fact it happened, and him saying it out loud has made him realise how he hasn't coped with any of it and he's really struggling to come to terms with it. He always used to excuse his dad's behaviour of beating him to a bloody pulp with 'I deserved it' or something of that nature, despite the amount of times we had to bring him back from the brink of death. I think that because he's said it out loud and I think that's made him realise how awful it truly is.

We are gathered in me and Evie's room. Carlos is sat on Evie bed, scribbling in a school book, doing his homework, probably. Jay is looking over his shoulder, fiddling with something his therapist gave him, Carlos said it was called a fidget cube. Jay's therapist has given him multiple 'fiddle toys' but he tends to go with either the tangle or the fidget cube.  Evie is sat doing some chemistry work, she has really excelled in it recently.

I'm just pacing, I can't help but think, I could have prevented this. I could have got him away from his dad. I could have not showered and got Audrey away. I could have protected him better. I could have...

"You couldn't have done anything, Mal." I hear, "Jay." I sigh in relief, and Carlos and Evie stop what they are doing, clearly just as relieved as me to hear his voice. "But I could have..." But I'm cut off again, not by words, but with  hand movements, 'No. Don't blame yourself, Mal. It's not your fault at all.' I beg to differ but I don't wanna argue with Jay. I sigh and sit down on the floor. "It really isn't Mal." Evie pipes up, Carlos nods, "I knew about it since we were 8, but honestly, there was nothing we could do." Jay nods gently but keeps silent. I'm just glad I've heard Jay's voice and seen him use our hand signals again. We then lapse back into a comfortable silence, Evie focusing on her work, Carlos writing again, but turning to his laptop occasionally. Jay is led beside him, head practically on Carlos's lap, messing with the fidget cube. I share a glance with Evie, a small smile, before sitting next to her and looking at her work, "How does that make any sense?" I mutter looking at her elegant handwriting which has written down a load of complex stuff that I can't comprehend. She laughed gently, "It's simple really..." She then goes into a long spiel about some form of chemistry and equations and I smile but take none of it in, I'm just no good at science.

Evie smiles at me, obviously done explaining and I look up at her, "Hmm?" Carlos laughs gently And I see Jays lips turn up slightly as Evie's face drops slightly, I look sheepishly at her, "Sorry E. It's all waffle to me." She nodded, "It's ok. I don't get any of your art waffle either." I smile and then just lean my head on her shoulder as she turns back to do her work.

*Carlos*

Jay spoke! I'm so glad. It was worrying me so much.

I smile down at Jay who is now laid next to me, playing quietly with his fidget toy, I turn my head to my laptop, scanning the page for the information I need for this piece of homework, there's a lot of words and it's kind of confusing but I'm really trying with words now, and I'm getting better!

I'm writing down how to construct a haiku poem when Jay shuffles even closer and starts trying to read my writing, face screwing up with concentration. I bite my lip, "Is my writing really that bad?" I whisper. 'Its all jumbled up.' He signed. Evie then walked over and shook her head, "It's not for me." She said, curiosity slipping into her voice. Jay then looks away and curls up smaller, 'Sorry,' he signs weakly. "You have nothing to be sorry for." Evie said, crouching in front of Jay, and I nod, touching his shoulder softly. He flinches but doesn't shrug me off, he takes a breath before, 'I was stupid.' Mal sighs, "You weren't being stupid, Jay. You're not stupid. You're an absolute genius at maths! Just because words aren't as easy, that doesn't make you stupid." I nod and agree, Jay shrugs and digs around in his pocket, before taking out three things. A pocket size sketchpad, A pocket size chemistry fact book, and a pocket size notebook.