Tinted Glass

Chapter 5: Weakness

Sleeping meant... living

Living all that I didn't when I was awake.

It was torturous seeing myself act like a robot: following Pol and Wade into the van mindlessly

No... I wasn't seeing myself. I was myself. I was living the dream in first person.

But I couldn't move, what a surprise.

I laid on the back of the van for what felt like half an hour. Was I out for this long?

After I closed my eyes for a second, I was awoken in a familiar alley by the dreaded phrase...

"GET EM!"

I saw Wade jump out of hiding and headlock one of the guards.

"SHANE, MOVE!" he said while the guards were still shocked. Hadn't their Sloth instincts kicked in?

I wanted to stay hidden. I didn't want to fight

Not like it mattered.

I saw myself in my own body jumping and punching a man in the face, getting hit by the butt of his gun, and falling on the floor. The guard made a motion to aim at me but was quickly interrupted by Pol...

shooting the man

No, no way...

Did the man who challenged the guards to a rock paper scissors match just shoot them?

I didn't want to see it, but I had no choice. Blood was spilling from the guard's left leg as he let out the most blood-curdling sound I've ever heard

I pulled out my weapon and...

bang

He laid still.

Death...

I wanted to scream. That was a human being. The blood. I didn't have to do it. We could have negotiated. I'm guilty.

Stray thoughts couldn't pull me out of what I was seeing when I slept, though. I was being forced to see what I had done.

Why did I. How could I not retain control? I had built up all my courage for nothing.

WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING!? I'M SUPPOSED TO LIVE A CALM LIFE, SO WHY CAN'T I!? WHERE DID I GO WRONG!?

No matter how hard I struggled, my eyes were glued to the scene.

I FOUGHT! I FOUGHT BACK AGAINST MY SIN, SO WHY DIDN'T IT WORK?

The second guard who was free hit Pol in the stomach with the side of his pistol.

I miss my home... my calm life. But it was taken away from me.

Pol was kneeling in pain and Wade had been knocked out in the struggle. By the time I stood up to aim at the guards, I was on my own.

Why me? Why...?

I quickly drew my gun but I was shut down by the guards shooting me in the 

The pain detonated in a second. It felt as if my flesh was being drilled. If this was just a dream why did it hurt so bad? It felt like my whole foot was burning at a thousand degrees.

It's the first time I've been hurt past being punched by people at school or Wade. It was so painful I couldn't do anything but focus entirely on it.

I fell onto the ground and the guards carried Wade, Pol, and me into the building.

This time I was blacking out with blood on my hands.

The pain. The screams. The red.

It's...