Emotionally unavailable

4.

My classes end, I'm walking back to my apartment and all of a sudden I'm met face to face with my sister she makes this face. As if I'm suppose to feel for her. I look at her straight in the eyes "what do you want Sabrina?" She looks at me with dark bags under her eyes "Me? want something? Nooooooooo, I just came to check on my sweet sister." She says trying to smile sweetly at me. Instead all I see is her yellow teeth that probably hasn't been brushed for weeks. "No, you do not get to do this!! You do not get to come in my life and act like everything is fine!! Cause it's not! Leave Sabrina!!" She looks at me shocked," family doesn't leave each other, I love you." My heart swells at her saying those words and my mind starts racing. "You're the only person I have left, don't you see that? I'm 1 week clean, you have to believe me!" I look at her and it's like inside I can see the younger version of her begging to be saved inside.I bite my lip contemplating if I should just invite her to my place for a warm meal. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt for the millionth time. "Ok Sabrina you can come with me, but if you fuck this up in any way possible I will make sure you're in that rehab centre again." She smiles almost relieved,"of course sister, I'll be on my beast behaviour." We start walking together quietly there's no tension in the air. I start thinking of our mom, she used to take drugs too. Guess when dad left her for someone younger she fell apart. It wasn't her fault though, I blame him. If he hadn't left, my life wouldn't be like this. If they hadn't had sex 20 years ago that night with no condom I wouldn't be here. We get to my apartment, I unlock the door and switch the lights on. She gets in and starts looking around "you know this place hasn't changed one bit." I turn around and smile looking at her noticing her clothes are wrinkled and have holes in them. The shoes she's wearing are open at the front. "Yes there's nothing I did really, I'm going to cook us dinner you can take a shower so long, I'll bring you fresh clothes." She smiled with a grateful look on her face " ok,thank you." I watch her walk towards the bathroom, her body looks so fragil. I begin making my way towards the kitchen to cook something for dinner .