Sexy Facts

Part One: My What Does What?!

PART ONE: MY WHAT DOES WHAT?!

Bodies. They do some weird shit and when it comes to sex the stuff gets weirder. Puberty is a fun little trip into uglyville and though I'm all for feeling good and accepting of yourself but no looks back and says 'Wow! Thirteen was my peak of beauty!' You get acne, you get all these weird new urges and you notice weird stuff and when your a girl 'Aunt Flo' and that bitch is in it for the long haul. She may even be the worst and longest relationship of your life.

Of course you ask any old health teacher and they'll tell you the same thing: You grow hair, you bleed, you have boobs all of the sudden, you're hormones will be a raging and now to top it all off now you can get pregnant! Ah the joys of being a woman. For men the problems are more noticeable. Voice changes, inconvenient erections and the most fun of all wet dreams. Oh girls get them too but our mom doesn't have to change the sheet afterwards.

Everyone goes through it and we all hate it as much as we love the results. Yes you're going to feel like the world is against you but its not. If anything we're just going to throw M&Ms at you and hope to keep you appeased as we try to make our escape into a safer area of the house. We know being a teenager is hard, believe me when I say it sucks, but it won't always suck so relax and take a deep breath. Its not the end of the world. But just for shit's and giggles here are some ridiculous myths and facts about your changing 'private areas':

Myth: Washing your hair increases your period flow.

Fact: Uh, no. Where the hell did that come from? Nothing you do in your routine will increase or decrease your flow. Your uterus is like a honey badger, it don't give a shit and does what it wants.

Myth: Penis size correlates to your hand, nose, or foot size.

Fact: Nope. Only the thing that controls how big your wang is going to be is your luck of the draw and genes. You get what you get no matter what those late informercials tell you.

Myth: Penises have bones in them that's how they stick up.

Fact: No that's not why they're called boners. Well maybe. I don't know I've never had one. What I can tell you is that erections are caused by blood pooling into the blood vessels which cause it to become stiff. So that's fun....

Myth:You're periods will come exactly every 28 days.

Fact: As I said before the uterus doesn't play your rules! It does what it wants and as such missing a few when you start to menstruate is common.

Myth: If a guy doesn't ejaculate he'll get blue balls.

Fact: Men love to spring this one you when they want to guilt you into a sexual act but its just not true. He won't get 'backed up' and blue balls, if they do exist will only happen when you punch him for being an idiot. Unejaculated sperm disintegrate over a period of time and a guy makes over 1 million sperm a day so I promise you, he's good. His balls may get tender if over stimulated but if they do turn blue call a doctor for god sake!

Myth: You can't get pregnant when your on your period.

Fact: You can get pregnant whenever that rebel uterus of yours decides to carry a released egg in it. The chances are lower when your on your period but it happens. The world and your baby making system is full of infinite possibilities.

So there you go! Just some facts to get us all ready for what we're going to talk about next. This is were we get to the fun stuff and probably the more informative stuff about the actual act.

So lets get to it!

UP NEXT: PART TWO-SORRY, DID YOU SAY VIRGINIA OR VIRGIN?>>>>>>>