The pain will make you crazy~ MAYLOR

Pain is so close to pleasure

yuhhhhhh what is it like chapter 7????

(Brian's POV)

"How dare you leave me like that Bri! How FUCKING dare you!" Roger pushes past me. "I needed you and you just fucking left and you took Deaky too! I thought you'd stay or something but no. My name's Brian and I don't care about my best friend that I've known way longer than Deaky. Nah, I'll just leave him while he's on the fucking edge of a breakdown, just to hang out with John!" 

"Roger..."

"Don't you Roger me! Don't make some fucking stupid excuses! Why did you leave? Tell me Bri!"

"Roger are you drunk?" He has to be, he never loses it like this with me. At Freddie and John yes, but never me.

"No Brian why would I be?"

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Not a lot." So a lot then. He's drunk and very by the looks of him.

"Your drunk..."

"NO I'M FUCKING NOT! I JUST CAME OVER FOR A GOD DAMN FUCKING ANSWER! SO WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME ONE!" I just stare blankly at him. I've never seen him this angry before. "I WANT A FUCKING ANSWER BRI! WHY DID YOU GO? DO YOU LIKE DEAKY MORE THAN ME? ARE YOU AND DEAKY LIKE A COUPLE OR SOMETHING?..." for a second I see a pained look in his eyes. "IS THAT WHY YOU LEFT? BECAUSE YOU'D PREFER TO BE AROUND HIM?"

"No, Rog. No..."

"I don't believe you." The drop in the volume of his voice takes me by surprise. He just went from absolutely losing his shit, to nearly crying. 

"Rog, your my best friend..."

"Your not acting like i am." 

"Because..." I hesitate, what do i tell him? he's drunk and he isn't gonna remember much. 

"Why Bri?"

"You said... you wrote that you hated me and i thought that you'd prefer if i wasn't around." He stares, eyes wide. Surely he hasn't forgotten? It's been like a day since then, just under 24 hours. "And I'm not with Deaky, I have a date with a girl from college tomorrow and Deaky likes... likes someone else." 

"I... I should go." Roger gets up from the couch and runs out of my apartment. 

"Wait... Rog!" I run after him, getting a horrible sense of deja vu. But this time I wasn't gonna let him go. I'm not making that mistake twice. "Roger!" I pretty much fly down 3 flights of stairs and catch up to him as he reaches his car. He didn't drive here did he? "Rog" He looks at me and I'm surprised to see tears streaming down his face. 

"W...what do you want?"

"I... you didn't drive here did you?" He nods. "Let me drive you home. If you..."

"No, no I can..."

"There is no way I'm letting you drive. You're bloody drunk Rog."

"Am not."

"You are too. Let me drive you." 

"But how will you get home?"

"I can walk. Just give me the keys."

(Roger's POV)

He's looking at me with so much care and worry in eyes. I wanted him to look at me like that forever, because it's the closest I'll ever get to love. Brian's got a date with another girl, probably that one from his space class, Charlie or... Charlotte or something. And she's beautiful too. No surprise Bri likes her. I give him the keys. 

"Thank you Rog." Our fingers brush for a moment and I feel butterflies erupt in my stomach. I get in the passenger side and watch as Brian gets in beside me. I look out the window, anything to not look at him. I wish I could tell brian exactly why I didn't want to be around him. I mean I do want him around but I can't. Not when I feel like this. 

Maybe I should go away. To like... someplace away from here. Anywhere that Brian wasn't. I've always wanted to go to France. Maybe I could go there? I might meet someone else, and I won't feel this way for brian anymore. Life is so hard. Why can't I just be not gay? Why can't i be like John and Brian. Why can't I like girls? 

"Roger we're here." I get out of the car and just walk towards my apartment. I forget about needing my keys to get in until I reach my front door. 

"Shit!" I shout and I hear footsteps behind me. I look around. Brian's there, smiling and holding out my keys. 

"You'll be needing these won't you?" I take them and open my apartment, completely ignoring Brian's existence. It hurts me to do this to him, but at the same time it feels so good. I shut and lock the door behind me. 

(John's POV)

"I'll get it!" I shout to Fred and I rush to the phone. 

"Hello."

"John?"

"Yeah it's me Bri."

"Good." He sounds upset. Is he upset? Has something happened? Or is it about Roger?

"Are you okay Bri?"

"No."

"Why? What's happened?"

"I just saw Rog." 

"Oh." Well that can't have gone well. Roger and Brian have been friends for so long. Nothing has ever come between them and I always thought that nothing could ever ruin their friendship. But for some reason, Roger just suddenly doesn't want Brian around. Is there something Bri isn't telling us, or is Roger just not telling us something?

"He was drunk too." Oh god. 

"Did... did he say anything?" I know he's obviously said something otherwise Brian wouldn't be calling. 

"He... he came over and attacked me for leaving." 

"He didn't?" Why would Roger do that? Even him being drunk, surely he wouldn't? Roger literally wrote a million times that he hated Brian. Why would Roger hurt Brian like that?

"He did." 

"Brian I'm so sorry." 

"Don't be. I was kinda expecting it to be honest."

"He shouldn't've done that though."

"Well he's drunk..."

"Brian you can't blame his drinking...

"John I want to, because I don't want to think that he'd come and shout those things to me if he wasn't drunk. I don't want to know that he... he..." I hear Brian start to sob. 

"Brian I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset..."

"Johnnypoos what's going on?" I look behind me. "Why's Brian upset?" I mouth Roger to him and he makes an "oh" face. 

"Was that Freddie?" 

"Yeah it was." Brian makes an acknowledging sound and I hear more of his sobs. I can't imagine what he's going through. He's always had Roger by his side and now Roger's the one that left him. I'm so sorry Brian.