The pain will make you crazy~ MAYLOR

Cause For Concern

✨title of chapter a song by Lovejoy listen to it its amazing ✨

TW: mentions of self harm

(Freddie's POV)

"And then he spat it all out and you should've seen his face!" Roger's laughing as he finishes his story and I can barely breathe. Ah Brian could be so gullible. 

"I wish I had've been there." Roger pulls off his jumper and scratches his left arm. I gasp and I see beads of blood start to form. Quickly I look at the rest of his arm. Cuts everywhere. And they dont look a day old. 

"Rog?" 

"Mhm?" He sees that I'm staring at his arm. "Shit!" He jumps up and grabs his stuff. 

"Roger lovie wait!" He just runs straight out the door and I follow. I nearly run headlong into John and Brian. "Roger darling we need to talk about those!" I shout after him, but i know its no use. He won't come back. Brian and John are looking at me, quite concerned. 

"Fred what the heck was that about?" John asks. How do I tell them? 

"He... on his arms... cuts and they look pretty fresh." Brian's jaw drops and John looks horrified. Brian is the first to speak. 

"How... How old are they?" 

"A day, maybe two." I say and he smacks himself in the forehead. "Darling what..?"

"I should've known!" He shouts and runs after Roger. What the-? I look at Deaky hoping I can get an explanation. 

"Sit down Fred." He says. 

(Brian's POV)

"Roger!" He's just gotten into his car. How could I could've I been so stupid! He cut himself last night. Thats why he sounded so upset on the phone. And when I got there I just let him lie to me. It was too warm for a jumper and yet he was wearing one. FUCK! I should've known something was wrong.

I grab onto the passenger door handle and pull, but its locked. I look at Roger. He's in tears and I look at his arm. I can see them now. There's at least 5 that I can see, maybe more. 

"Rog open the door." He doesn't even look at me, he just turns on the car. I knock on the window. 

"I'm here now Rog, I'm here for you just open the door please." He still doesn't look at me and he starts to reverse. "Rog!" I run after his car, but its no use. He's not stopping. Tears start to spill from my eyes. I feel so bad. He's my best friend, I know him better than anyone, and I'm supposed to know when somethings wrong, but somehow I didn't notice that he wasn't doing that well. He's been cutting himself and I didn't even know. 

I slowly make my way back to the studio, still crying. I can't believe it. 

So many things are jumping out at me. All the signs, all the things I missed. He's been quieter, less energetic, less... less like Roger. 

I push open the studio door. 

"Brian darling did you catch up to him?" Freddie asks immediately. I shake my head and sink onto the couch and curl up. 

(John's POV)

"Brian it's gonna be okay." I say, trying to comfort him. I haven't ever seen him like this. Not ever. I've seen him upset before, but never like this. 

"John... I hate myself... h...how come I d...didn't see it..."

"Bri don't blame yourself." 

"But I sh...should've known..."

"Brian lovie, Johnny's right, you can't take the blame for this." My heart flutters a little at the nickname and I feel my face heat up a little. No John this isn't the time. Brian needs you. 

"He's my b...best friend... I sh...should've known." 

"Bri when people want to hide something like this, they'll do anything to keep it from everyone." Brian just keeps on crying. 

[time skip to about 8pm]

"Actually John, can you drop me at Roger's?" Brian asks me. 

"Yeah sure." 

"Thanks." I glance at Brian. There are tear tracks stained on his face.  "So what's going on with you and Freddie?" 

"Wha-? What do you mean?" 

"Oh come on Deaks, I see the way you look at him. the way you blush ever so slightly when he says Johnny or Johnnypoos."

"There's nothing going on..."

"You like him though?" 

"Well... yeah." There's no point trying to deny it. He knows. 

"You know, I think Fred might have feelings for you too." I nearly slam my foot on the breaks. 

"What?" I half yell.

"Well he doesn't call me or Rog anything like Johnnypoos  and he acts differently when your around. Haven't you noticed?"

"No? And Rog calls me Johnnypoos sometimes."

"Yeah he's taking the piss." Is it true? Does Freddie like me? No. He can't. He has a girlfriend and the last I heard he was "madly in love with her". I stay silent. 

"John are you good?"

"Yeah, I'm good, just thinking."

"About Freddie?"

"Of course." Brian smirks. 

"Oh screw off Bri! What about you? Surely there's someone your interested in?" Brian doesn't answer straight away. 

"There might be this one girl. At college."

"Tell me about her." Anything to keep his mind off Roger.

"She's kind, she's funny, she's quite pretty, she's also really interested in space."

"She sounds amazing. what's her name?"

"Charlotte." I smile.  (a/n: i know abt chrissie but for this its gonna be charlotte)

"do you think she's interested in you?"

"I don't know maybe." 

"I'm sure she is." Brian smiles to himself. There's silence until we reach Roger's apartment block. 

"Do you think he's here?" 

"Where else would he be?"

"He might've hurt himself."

"Hey! Don't think that Bri. He's okay." Brian gets out of the car and runs up to the door. "Hang on Bri."  I turn off my car and lock it, then follow him.