Her wings unfolded

Continuation of Chapter 47

I'm in my bedroom playing with my son when a faint knock comes through and mom walks in carrying a giftbag. Yesterday was a bliss , I was just glad that everyone was having fun , celebrating me and they weren't asking me about Nathi.

Me : "I thought I had all my presents here with me" I say pointing at the bunch of unopened gifts stacked by the corner of the room.

Me : "No , this was given to me by your kids grandma."  I nod confused. She hands me the giftbag and I open it. There is a beautiful jar with a label written '1000 Reasons why I love you' , there's many small pieces of folded papers inside. I open and start reading

"You are my best friend."

"I love your personality."

"I love how we talk all night and never run out of things to say."

"You make me laugh like no one else can."

"You make my heart melt with just a look from across the room."

"You are a good listener , and you always have the right words of encouragement for me."

"You are a great cook and I love your food."

"You have the cutest laugh and I love that I'm the one who makes you laugh like that."

"I love being around you because you make me a better person."

"You look great in all the pictures we take together."

I cry laugh reading the last note before I decide to stop cause it's making me very emotional. I'm a crying mess and mom is holding Nkosenye watching me cry. I end wailing so loud and raw , making my son cry too

Me : "It h...urts mama." I feel dad's arms engulfing , I feel a banging headache but I can't stop crying and I'm hiccuping.

Dad : "Buhle why were you even watching her cry?" He asks softly brushing my back.

Mom : "You shouldn't have cuddled her , she's supposed to let it all out."  I eventually fall asleep.

#

Mandy : "Virgin Mary."  She roughly shakes me. I wake up , she just hugs me before getting in bed next to me.

Me : "How are you? I missed you so much."

Mandy : "I'm okay babe. I got therapy , still am and I've really come to understand that my baby is an angel baby. My relationship with my father has improved and turned out to be the best. I forgave mom and her father even though they've never apologized but I did it for me and it worked , I'm at peace."

Me : "I'm so happy to hear that."

Mandy : "You? What's going on? How are you?"

Me : "I don't know honestly but one thing for sure is that I hate myself for turning down Nathi you know cause maybe if I had agreed then he wouldn't have been guallivanting the streets and ended up in an accident that too m his life away. I blame myself everyday for his death , it doesn't help that his father also hates me nje! It's too much man Mandy. I lost my baby daddy , the only man who's ever made me experience love this great ; most of all I hadn't even mourned my two kids that I lost without even knowing I was pregnant. I also had to go through the trauma of delivering a premature baby , I stayed up every night praying that my son makes it together with his father only for my prayers to go unheard? It's been too much Mandy and I never even get a chance to breath or deal with the matter as another punch will come knocking me down again? I'm tired. I'm really exhausted. No one gets it , now just because I turned down Nathi's proposal , I'm a bad person but they've never given themselves time to actually sit down and try to hear ME out and my reasons. It's always everybody else besides me! It's like I just don't matter. Nxa I'm tired!"

Mandy : "You should also get therapy babes , if not for you then for those two kids who only have you now as their parent. Fight babe. Fight for them , for you , for your peace of mind , for your own breakthrough."

Me : "First step of me doing all that , I'm moving to eMandeni."

Mandy : "As long as you'll be okay then do it baby." She kisses my head and leans on my shoulder.