The Three Worst Secrets

The End of The Beginning

He'd started up again.

With the bruising.

It made him feel terrible. Especially when he hung out with Chan- but he had nothing else to turn to.

He couldn't confide in Hyunjin because the tall dancer was so busy all the time. Felix was out, since he would realize that Minho had been listening to them in secret. Chan was too close to Felix and he'd definitely tell. Seungmin was healing from his own problems and Jisung was flying high on his recent success. Innie was Jisung's boyfriend.

He'd found that out in the worst way possible.

Minho had gone to the studio, borrowing one of Felix's parent's many cars- looking for Binnie. He wanted ice cream, but he didn't want to go alone. Jisung was standing in the booth with his headphones on and Minho thought he'd been recording something when he suddenly moaned loudly. "Fuck Innie... how do you do that?"

He was looking down.

Minho ran out- but not before his ears were scarred with the tell-tale slurping of someone giving a blow job.

So, there was no avenue left to dump his thoughts into.

One thing he was certain of- was that he would not be ruining another friendship.

It wasn't worth it. Losing Changbin would not be the same as losing Seungmin or Hyunjin- or even Jisung. He'd always had them in that category. Potential romance. And it wasn't that he couldn't see the rapper there either. Changbin was handsome, talented, smart- and a million other good things.

It was just that he loved him so intensely that he couldn't lose him.

Not him.

Minho was standing in the garage again, slamming that glorious pipe wrench down on his bicep, when the door suddenly opened.

He'd been mid swing, resolutely staring at the darkening skin and out of tune to the world around him. There would be no covering the action up- or pretending that he was doing something else.

He was just frozen there, staring at the bright light and the silhouette within it.

The voice came, thick and striking. "Minnie?"

It was Changbin.

Minho only had a second to think 'Oh no.' and then the younger was hugging him, twisting the wrench out of his iron grip, shouldering him against the wall with too much tenderness.

"Minnie... what are you-" his voice was wet with emotion, heavy with it "what are you duh-doing?"

"Uh... that a real question?"

"No, you don't have to tell me. I'm-" he was hugging him tightly around his waist, face buried in Minho's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Minho suddenly felt very tired.

"I... I don't know. I'm sorry that you're hurting."

Water was filling his eyes. His bruised muscle ached as he wrapped his arms around him. "It's okay Bin."

"It's not okay! You shouldn't be- ugh- you shouldn't be hurting. Not alone. Not all alone like this Min."

There was a tidal wave of emotion crashing through his heart.

Chan had forced him to look at what it meant- what it would do to his future, his friends. But he didn't remember how it looked from the outside. From the eyes of someone who loved him. Had Hyunjin worried like that?