Love Maybe

44.

Akeelah Jade 

I just had my second heartbreak...

At the age of fifteen, I already had my heart broken by the same guy for the second time. I thought I would be immune to this unbearable pain spreading from my chest to my arms, even to my now pounding head that I can no longer think straight ahead as I stare at the back of my first love, walking hand-in-hand with the love of his life.

I fully understand the saying, "so close, yet so far." He once was within my reach, yet I failed to hold on to his hands. Did I really fail, or did we just didn't put much effort for us into having something in the first place?

"Hey, Aki? Are you okay?" Paisley tapped my shoulder, which sent me back to reality. I look at her with glistening eyes, trying my hardest to fight back the tears. "Oh my gosh, what's wrong?"

"Why do you have to hurt me like this?" I chuckle back at the impending doom of my emotions. We're currently on the way to Cassius's condominium him and his family presently staying. Before arriving there, we must walk through the almost empty mall parking area near the condo. I don't know what got me to feel this instant pang in my chest when my eyes laid into their intertwined hands, swaying happily as if they were strolling through a park and were the only people there.

"What?" Paisley utterly confuse.

I rake through my hair before I let out an exasperated laugh. "Nevermind," I must have stopped in my tracks. That's why Paisley returned to my place and knocked me off to my senses. "Let's go."

I'm not gonna lie; I'm kind of pissed at Paisley, but I couldn't actually blame her too. I release a loud sigh before following the lovebirds again. We just finished with our commitment to school projects, such as the clean-up drive and the feeding program, which was the most fulfilling thing I've ever done; too bad my heart decided to act up and hammer itself into pieces.

It was supposed to be me and Paisley who would head to Josh's house to practice for our full-length play. Unfortunately, we can't tag January with us since they also have practice for their section's play. But this little birdie, Paisley, had a different plan after all. Turns out, Justice already coaxed Paisley to join us so we could go to Josh's house together. It was not a problem at first, but I knew it was over when Cassius gave me those melting stares. It's over for me to keep pretending and enclosing what I genuinely feel towards him.

It's just really annoying. Why does he even bother to spend his time looking at the way I eat my Mcflurry sundae. Even his eyes speak a lot of volumes filled with amusement. Even his hoarse chuckle feels music to my ears.

"Hey, Akeelah. Are you okay?" We had just arrived at the floor Cassius's family residing at when Justice asked me. I can't help but gulp at the sharpness of her voice. I gave her the fakest smile I could produce before responding. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I hope you don't mind; I'll take a quick shower here first. I know this isn't what you signed up for, but I promise I'll be quick."

"Oh, yeah. Sure. No worries."

Oh. So that's why she's asking. Crap, speaking of– I freaking forgot to bring an extra shirt. Great! How can I forget such an important thing? When Justice mentioned the word shower, I suddenly felt sticky and sweaty all over my body.

Justice quickly got inside Cassius's bathroom. The space was relatively small since it was only one bedroom. And it seems like they had just moved in. The scattered boxes gave it away. I'm kind of afraid to bump and mess things up here, so I kept very still as much as possible. But my eyes are not, though. It's as if my eyes are learning every little detail I could make up from this space to get to know Cassius better.

"Hey, Aki. Are you also going to clean up?" Cassius asked.

"Yeah. I'll wash up my face and arms after Paisley." He nodded and entered the only other room in this space. I saw a glimpse of another guy who was on his computer. I swear I could almost hear him teasing Cassius about a girl who probably was about Justice. When he returned to us, he was holding into one of his black shirts. I guess he will also take a shower, but boy, I was wrong.

"Here, Aki. You can use my shirt when you wash up."

"What? N-No, no, it's alright. I'll probably just borrow Paisley's extra shirt. But thank you." Emotions stir up in my stomach. I tried to push back the shirt in Cassius's direction.

"You should accept it, Akeelah. Didn't you say earlier you didn't bring a spare shirt?" Panic sets in when Justice walks toward us as Cassius insists on letting me borrow his shirt. "Don't worry, she'll just borrow my extra shirt." Oh my gosh! Thank you, Paisley, for saving my ass! The couple finally stopped insisting, and now I could breathe properly.

What just happened made me feel a lot of things. What Cassius offered was completely out of character. You see, ever since he and Justice have been a thing, our friendship isn't the same as before. Actually, our friendship hasn't been the same since Sandy. So, what he did now left me surprised and utterly shocked, like thousands of bolts electrifying my system, yet I'm still hanged up with the fact that Cassius was friendly enough to offer me his shirt.

Now, crazy voices are whispering inside my head.

He still cares for me...