Love Maybe

59.

January Anderson
active now 

Akeelah:
You know, I just realized something....

January:
What did you realize?
I guess our class retreat does something to you. 

Akeelah:
Yeah, I guess so too. 
You know, I had a talk with Shaun during our retreat, right? 

January:
Speaking of, what's that all about?
I also saw you bumped into Cassius and Marie as you head back to our room. 

Akeelah:
Shaun's been worried about Cassius. He thinks Cassius has been different lately. He's been out most of the time partying and doing stupid things. Then, he also mentioned how Cassius's kind of caught in the pedestal about his feelings towards Marie which I didn't completely understand. 
I kind of noticed those changes too. Especially, when he got close to Wren, they would often get into trouble. Remember, last time, they were sent to guidance office for destroying school property?

January:
Really? I didn't know that. I was probably absent that time. So, what did you realize? 

Akeelah:
I realized that although he got me worried about him too, I don't have the urge to run to his side and comfort him when things get tough for him. 
I realized how I cared less for Cassius. That, it does not bother me like it bothered me before when he gets into this kind of situation. 
Prolly, because I know he's got Marie for all of that. Confiding his shit and all. Or maybe because of something Shaun said...

January:
Isn't that a good indication that your feelings for him is truly gone and that you only see him now nothing more than just a friend.
I'm afraid tho, I can sense there's more to it in your story. 

Akeelah:
Unfortunately.
Maybe I stopped caring because I finally realized how undeserving he is of my attention.
Maybe I stopped caring because he already got someone to do that for him.
Or maybe I stopped caring when I heard from Shaun how Cassius see me.

January:
That asshole.
How did he see you?

Akeelah:
A dramatic anchor. Someone who drags him down.
I didn't know that's how he view me whenever I share something about myself.
I know feel pathetic how I actually thought I could confide to him. But then again, that one incident where he pushed me to Shaun when all I wanted was his comfort always comes to mind whenever I try to justify his actions hahaha I'm really that stupid am I?

January:
Oh no, babe.
This isn't your fault, okay?
I saw your messages and he would always make you feel heard or that he'll always make sure you know that he is there for you when you need someone to talk so, this is all his fault.
That fucker allowed things to happen between the two of you so, I don't freaking understand how could he say such thing. If anything else, he is more of an anchor than you. He's been sinking you down in that freaking hole and you were just blind to see because you trusted him.
And that's probably the biggest mistake you ever done. 

Akeelah:Yeah...I guess, I trusted him all too much.