Most Wanted

Chapter 1

3 weeks later
After Reddington told me that my mother was a Russian operative, and wouldn't say any more, I sat in my car and tried somehow, some way, to sort things out.

I didn't quite know how to act. When I found the box under the floorboards two years ago, or when Tom was in the hospital, or even when I found out who Tom really was, I always felt I could go to Red for help. Now, he won't stop lying to me. I have so many questions.
Who is my father?
Why were my memories from before the fire erased?
Why was Red there?
And, the biggest one of all,
Who am I?
I certainly didn't feel like Elizabeth Keen. Of course that's who I am now, but who was I before? Has my whole life been a lie? Was I born in Russia? Why the hell won't Reddington give me answers?

He thinks he's protecting me by keeping the truth. He's not. I don't need protecting, I just need answers. However, sometimes you may not be ready for the real answers.

Tom told me. He told me everything , I think. About how Reddington hired him to come into my life, how it was planned from the start. I should've seen it. Tom is the only person I can't read as a profiler. With him, every time I think I've discovered something, it turns out the exact opposite. It makes him more interesting.

So I just sat, thought about what to do next. I really had no answers. Who would understand? Who could I go to that would understand if I didn't feel like talking about what I've been told? It took me a moment to realize I was in tears. I tried to wipe them away, but it did no good. I started my car and drove off, hopeful I would find someone that understood.

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I heard a knock at the front door. Instinctively, I reached to my gun, but something told me it was her.

I my door, and sure enough, there she was. Drenched from the rain, but I noticed it wasn't only the rain that made her face wet. I noticed the tears running down her cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

She said nothing. Didn't indicate whether or not she wanted to talk about what Reddington had told her. But I understood. It was clear that all she needed right now was someone who understood.

I stepped out into the rain, and took her in my arms. She was shaking. Part from cold, part from crying. We just stood there, embracing, letting ourselves get drenched by the downpour.

After I felt her begin to pull away, so did I. I brushed the wet hair out of her face.

"Why don't you come inside and I'll make some of my awful coffee you seemed to love so much," I said.

Finally, I got a smile out of her. It was good to see that. To see that she had some happiness in her. That she hadn't been corrupted by this life (and him) as I had.

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I don't know what exactly made me go to Tom. I didn't think anyone else would really get it. Nobody else knew as much about my past, and Reddington, as Tom did. Not Ressler, Aram, Cooper, or even Mira.

So I went to Tom. And he understood. He understood that I didn't want to talk about it, not yet, and he was just there. He hugged me and it made me feel better. It was all I really needed right now, a hug.

And I did like that coffee. It wasn't the best, but I still liked it. It reminded me of a better time, when my life was simpler.

As we stood in the rain, I thought of how my life was before Reddington, how happy I had been. I wondered if this was what my life would be like from now on. Reddington dodging any question I give him with an obscure movie reference, and Tom, who I shot just last year, would be the only man I could trust.

I didn't want it to be that way. I wanted to trust Tom. I guess I did trust him in a way, but it's not the same kind of trust we shared when he was the school teacher I loved and was going to try to adopt with. The trust we share is the type of trust that an informant has with their case officer, we tell each other the truth when we both benefit from it. At least that's what I think.

As to the question of our feelings for each other, that's for a different time and different place. Over a few drinks.

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I honestly don't know why she loves this coffee so much. And I don't know why I'm dwelling so much on it. It was a question I would ask her another time.

Sitting there, in my crappy living room, it was almost like our old life. Except for the fact that in our old life, we had a nicer house, didn't answer to Reddington (except for some time, I really did, but that ended), and we had a dog. A good dog.

Best of all, Liz was oblivious to the horrors this world could throw at her. I liked her better when she was oblivious. She was happier oblivious. Not that I don't like her now, but it's different that she's been subjected to these awful things.

One of them being Raymond Reddington.

Most love him, he's got this charm that even if he's threatening, torturing, or about to kill you, you almost like him. He brought Liz in that way. Granted, he has his moments, but when he isn't having one of those moments, trust me, you will learn to hate him.

One of the good moments, however, was when he hired me. In a way, he brought me and Liz together.

Yes, I was hired to enter her life, make her fall in love with me, and we were to get married. That may make me seem like an enemy. But I never used Liz. I fell in love with her. Reddington saw it coming, and as soon as it happened, he fired me, and let me live my life with her.

It wasn't the only thing he did to me though. He told Liz about me. That I was a spy. She had actually found my cache of passports and currency, but she didn't believe it. That's when he did it. That's when Reddington ratted me out.

And now, because of him, Liz is in pain, and may be in serious danger. I can't let that happen. I won't let it happen.

I was so deep in thought I hardly realized the rain had stopped. Liz had nearly finished her coffee (that awful coffee), and was about to tell her story of what happened.

Then we heard something. Or, someone.

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Authors Note
So, obviously that was the end of the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it and just a few updates.
•There will be a lot of switching POV's and in this chapter specifically, it was mostly in Tom and Liz's thoughts. Only for the reason that Liz really didn't want to talk about what happened and Tom understood that she just needed to be with someone
•The coffee- I honestly have no freaking clue why I mentioned the coffee so much...maybe I want coffee...or I will be wanting coffee when I wake up at 4 haha... So don't judge on the coffee it's just something that kind of beings them together and maybe I'll tie it in as something special later you never know.
•This is obvious but the line of •••• means a change in view
So I hope you enjoyed this and I'll get around to chapter 2 sometime next week. Be prepared for a roller coaster of emotions (jk...maybe)
-r.f.