12.
❝when you're coming down, think of me here
i got no distance left to run❞
———
It was in the nature of Camilla Harding to perfect things; little touch ups that add glamour.
That winter, as Willow rocked in her chair and couldn't wait to get older than she was, Camilla's shrill voice warms the room. "Meat? Cheese?! Blasphemous!" Willow would also like if the overstaying, overestimating, overreacting woman gets out, but it's a solace to know if she dies — that's it, no more orders.
Willow's bony fingers gripped the spine of a novel. She held it very close, to her eye level, as she directed her attention towards the dusty pink sunset, the brink of a twilight, twilight is tragic right? Nevermind.
"What is it, Camilla?"
"Your pantry needs," Camilla was out of breath by the time she emerged from the unearthed kitchen, whatever that is. "Revamping. Fruits, veggies, those are the things you give to a..." Patient, it's okay, Willow doesn't mind.
Call a spade a spade. She's in need of a working heart, Levi's in need of a functioning wife, it's all sad. We get it.
"I'll ask Roger to do that."
"Nonsense! You need to shop!"
Kitchen has sure been noisy with her inside —
"Yes"
"I did some for you," she said with finality. "Get ready for soluble fibre and antioxidants... They're good for skin too, did you know that?"
On the counter, Willow eyed a bag full of asparagus, broccoli, spinach, beetroot juice and crimson peppers. She inwardly groaned. Healthy? A short life and healthy food?
The phone rings. Camilla gets it. The way her face slowly lights up is an indication of disaster. "Levi's on his way home," is all she hears.
Levi's meetings, most of the time, run long. His daily afternoons are passed seeking approvals, sending people "your software needs updating, it'll only be a minute" only to receive cancellation, and holding onto the bleak hope of Willow's survival.
Women are strong, is what is other mum said. Willow once fainted while she was helping her in the kitchen. Camilla pointed "she never asked for help" and "she's a guest, guests don't help out"... And they never caught Lev Harding out of breath, face white and blue, shaking like a leaf... He had to pretend an urgent, ill-fated client had called and with that excuse, he excused himself.
Men are supposed to provide. Care. Protect. Be the house pillar.
And Levi? Levi was no man. Sure his heart had grown by a few years, sure his chin sported a shadow of light beard, sure his career was thriving... But Levi Harding couldn't let go of Willow Harding.
Whose fingers were fast slipping. Isn't that why she tried to commit suicide?
If it was in her power, she'd be long gone. She wouldn't want to trouble anyone. She'd want death — quick, lovely, painless, speedy.
He busied himself with mind numbing errands. He shouldn't be losing sanity, he's supposed to be the strong one.
He hopes to God Camilla doesn't reveal his past self. That wretched man who was found crying all the way during camping trip. Students passed him by and commented on his antics. The police were unable to track his whereabouts.
Mr Harding, his father, discovered him passed out — in his own tent! Right after causing the commotion! Jesus.
That's right — Levi Harding was a failure of a man.
"What are you doing here?"
And then there was hard ass Eliana Ramos. Currently standing behind him, in the perfume aisle. "And don't say shopping," her knuckles whitened around the trolley bar she was pushing. "No guy shops at Chanel corner, ugh"
"It's been tough," his voice is hoarse. He sounds like he's had enough of this world. It does something to her spine, it causes tingling sensation. And Eliana wants nothing more than to throw herself in his arms. Call it home reflex.
She could do that. The mall area was partially empty. They were surrounded by absolute strangers. However, nobody ignores Eliana Ramos for days — "and on day 17 gets a hug"
"I'm sorry?"
"Damn right you are!"
She couldn't be more confusing. From him, she snatched off a lime green deodorant box, he was off balance again. "You didn't call!"
"Uh, yeah work," he shouldn't be lying, but that's what he gets for not being there for her.
"I tried for karate. Just wanted to say that, FYI."
"My mother's -"
"No excuses!" She shots back haughtily. "Don't I get plenty of them from my father? I mean, just be there for people, all right? Just try harder, okay? You men need to stop whining, you're not seventeen anymore, the Earth doesn't revolve around you, but you can still make a change! Because there are thousands of us! One is insignificant, thousand is not," she finishes.
Her annoyance is kinda cute, he thinks. "When did you get to be so smart?" And once they've checked out, Lev's fingers finds her. Still cross, she tries to squeeze it with all her might. On that note, one of her curls escape and tumble down on her. Lev brushes that back.
"I like how you don't hold back on me."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Let's eat?"
Eliana knows. She hates this side of him, but doesn't say so. She fears loneliness too. "Lev?"
"Yeah?"
She waits. Lev opens the door for her to get in. She does so, holding back a crispy green note inside her bra. She knows she wouldn't need it. He's not like other men.
"Yes Eliana?"
"Can you pay? I kinda forgot my wallet?"
He smiles. "Sure," he says. "Steak place?"
"Yes please"
—————
ngl eliana is kinda sorta cute bitch. xoxo
