For the First Time

George

The city is quiet this time of night. Turning over in bed, I scroll through my phone, and tap on the twitter icon. There's nothing new to see from any of my friends, but I can't stop from scrolling through the trap I always end up in-DNF fan art-when I should be packing.
"Ridiculous," I mutter, continuing to scroll through heated pics of Dream yanking me by the sweater, standing inches from my face.
My phone dings as a message pops up top.

Dream: Have you seen this new pic of us?

I hate the way my heart flutters as I read the text. Pic of us.
I can't resist the urge to click on the message and look at the picture. This one has the two of us on a couch. And, of course, Dream is pinning me down, straddling me, his hand wrapped around my neck. Dream is grinning while I'm grimacing.
I text him back.

Goggy: Gross.
Goggy: ... kinda hot
Dream: FR 😘

I groan and close my phone. I rub my hands across my face.
"You're really moving to America?" My mom had asked. "For Clay?"
"For work," I had corrected.
"You can be honest with me. You can tell me if it's more than just work."
"Mum, it's for work," I had said with a goofy expression, just as my phone had gone off and I hadn't been able to resist the urge to see if it was Dream.
"Clay is great," she had said, giving me a squeeze on my cheek and leaving me alone in the kitchen to answer the call from Dream.
"Muuuum," I had whined, unable to stop myself from smiling.
My phone dings, pulling me from the memory, and I hate how I instantly open it and am relieved that it's Dream.

Dream: We should kiss.

My breath hitches. Sure, we make jokes. We say off the wall things to one another constantly. And we've spent hours offline talking, falling asleep together on the phone. And yes, I'll be moving in with him.
Yet, here I am, stunned, when he sends me messages like this.
He follows up with another message.

Dream: For the face reveal.

Instead of a text notification, my phone begins buzzing.
It's Dream calling.
"Hey, Goggy!"
The sound of his voice makes my heart spasm. "Hey, Dream." I like calling him Dream instead of Clay, to keep it consistent for when we're streaming.
"Woah," he says, dialing back his volume. "Are you alright?"
No, I think. My head and heart are a mess.
"Of course," I say clearing my throat.
"You're voice is so deep and groggy, Goggy." He deepens his voice toward the end and I can't help but laugh.
"It's 2 in the morning, Dream." I roll onto my stomach, staring at his name display: Dreamboi69. It's ridiculous, just like him, and I love it.
"I'm sorry, should I let you go?" Before I can answer he says, "too bad. Okay seriously, though. We should kiss. A really long kiss for my face reveal video!"
"Ew, Dream. Why?"
He only laughs. "For the fans."
"Dreeeeam." I'm tempted to click the video chat button, but I'm not sure if I can handle seeing his sparkling green eyes.
"And because I want to."
How many times has he said this to me? I've lost track. "Dream..."
"Only a few more days, Goggy..."
"I know," I whisper, burrowing my face into the black sweater he mailed me.
"You're going to love Florida!" His enthusiasm doesn't reach me. I want to have a frank conversation. One where we talk about these things and I'm clear on whether or not he's joking.
"There's so much to do outside," he says.
"And yet, here you are talking to me," I interject.
Dream's laugh is lovelier than the sound of rain drops drizzling on a rooftop. "Here I am, waiting for you."
Biting my bottom lip, I rake a hand through my hair. Does he know how his words make me feel?
"I can let you sleep."
"No!" I practically shout. I hug my pillow and set the phone on my mattress. It's dark in the room, besides the brightness shining from my phone.
Again, Dream laughs and my heart does a funny somersault in my chest.
"What's Sapnap doing?" I ask.
"Why?" I hold in a snicker. Dream and his jealousy. I hate how much I love it.
"I dunno."
Dream jumps right into another thought."Okay, so I was thinking when we pick you up from the airport, we'll get you settled into the house, then we could go on an adventure."
"What kind of adventure?" I try to wonder what Dream is doing right now. Is he in his bed? Is he wearing his pj's, or is he wearing his usual sweater and joggers?
"George?"
"I'm sorry," I admit, shaking my head, realizing I was lost in thought picturing Dream in bed!
"Who are you texting?" Dream asks accusingly.
"No one." I try to sound neutral. I can't tell him what I was really thinking about.
I flip onto my back and hold my phone above my face.
"I said we should go to Disney World!"
"Oh."
"You don't want to go?" He sounds disappointed.
"I'll go wherever, as long as we get to hang out!" I add quickly. My face is red and I hold my breath. I sound desperate. But, I am desperate, aren't I?
Dream snickers. "Alright, Goggy. I can let you go to sleep."
"What? Why?"
"You're simping for me, George, which means you're distracted."
I sit up. I am distracted. I can't win. There's too much distance between us and all I want is to be in America already. To be with Dream.
But I can't tell him this. Because we've never seen each other in person. I've never felt his touch. Or even seen his face, yet.
"Wait. Let's play Minecraft," I offer, knowing I'm not able to do anything else.
"Are you sure?"
"Always," I admit like a fool. But it's what I am. A damn fool simping for Dream.