Antique Secrets

Chapter 8: Good Is Relative

summary:
dream goes shopping, technically, and things only go well.

in his opinion, at least.

notes:
there is a singular casual mention of a strip club and also some minor crimes in this chapter.

oh, and potions being called 'drugs'.

other than that, nothing to worry about! dream's singular brain cell self still bumbling through life like a bull in a china store. we do love him for that <3

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chapter text:

now, dream did not fall over after summoning actual god, that would be ridiculous. for one, he was sitting down and for two, he knew this would happen. that being said, gravity was working just fine. and his nose hurt. those facts were completely unrelated, mind you.

“you are in need of something?” xd’s voice echoed around him. dream peeled himself from the floor, rubbing at his face as if that would actually help the pain. his gloves were gone, he noted dully. probably an unimportant god related thing, but what would he know?

“depends, what are you selling?” dream asked, pretending as though the floor hadn’t been violently shifted from under him. if xd was amused, no they weren’t and it wasn’t like dream could tell anyway. the god didn’t exactly emote much.

“whatever you require,” xd responded like the cryptid fuck dream knew he was. seriously, for a god he was checking off every single cryptid checklist that there was, excluding the mothman one or anything that required hair. xd was more ‘creepy doll’ cryptid than ‘bigfoot’ cryptid

“i… i have no idea what that means, like, what would someone in my position usually ‘require’?” dream made a face at that answer, scrunching up his nose. he thought they’d been over the fact he had no idea what he was doing. apparently, being a bitch was written into xd’s genetic code… actual code? huh, that was a mindfuck to think about.

as expected, because xd always ended up doing something like that, the god let out a godly version of a sigh that looked more like you hit oobleck particularly hard. it was like xd genuinely forgot each time he appeared. come on man, it wasn’t that hard to remember that dream was completely unaware of anything going on.

“potions,” xd seemed to land on for an answer, “of many kinds. items, gifts, things you wouldn’t find in the usual kind of store,” xd’s head twisted to the side, “it all depends on what you desire. who are you intending to follow?” got it, a magical store.

“intending to follow?” dream muttered to himself. the phrase made him sound like some kind of lost puppy, which while cute was also kinda sad. then again, it could be, like, a relationship thing. all games had routes and it could be a part of the romance part since it was a question of ‘who’.

which was actually a pretty good question. he had to play the game to win it and that included romancing someone, no matter how weird that felt since these people acted pretty real. getting into a relationship purely for personal gain was pretty against his morals. but, at the same time, he had to.

except that then brought the question of who was even a route. it couldn’t be any of the younger people, they had to be of legal age to go to college but they all looked and acted like teenagers. then again, weren’t ‘lolis’ a thing on the internet? either way, it didn’t matter what was intended with them because he wasn’t doing it. wait-

“uh, who exactly can i follow?” dream asked in stilted words. the phrase felt weird on his tongue, who even says it like that? well, xd but that was a god. no mortal person dream knew said it like that. honestly, he sounded like he was planning to stalk them or something.