Añgel beside him | | Amourshipping

8•

Ash's pov

It was unpleasant cold. The pitch-black sky gleamed in the pale silvery light casted by the full moon which was sheltered by the murky looming clouds. My skin turned colder with each breeze that stroked me. The more I pushed myself to the destination, the more I felt the anxiousness and uneasiness piercing into me. My breaths rising and falling, releasing chilling white foggy air.

Finally my foot steps came to an end on the irregular surface of the ground masked by the numerous thin, spiky green leaves. I could feel every single cell in my body tense. The cold weather seems to be more tolerable than what I was about to face.

I stood quietly, feet rather frozen, hands clammy as my gaze fell on three stone tablets resting in rows infront of me. My eyes traces over those familiar letters ; the words, the names engraved upon them, just as they were engraved in my memories. My grip tightens around the bouquet of flowers that I've brought along with me.

"Nine years.. eha?" I mumbled. My voice breaks slightly with the lack of courage to speak.

Among the entire places in this world, a cemetery is the last place for someone to spent birthday. And yet, here I am. Mourning instead of blowing the birthday candles.

Earlier, I used to come here in every month, on a regular basis. Sometimes weekly, when I missed them too much, my family. But eventually, the visits got limited to once in a year, mostly during my Birthdays, or in other words, their death anniversary. Except for last year when I turned way too coward to even face them.

I re-read the names carved into the granite plaques on the head stones. Two of them having the same date digits while compared to the third one which has the most shortest life span. I swallowed a large lump stucked in my throat as my heart began to throb in pain. It was only infront of these very graves on this expanded land, where I felt both alive and dead at the same time.

Alive ; because it made me realise the bitter truth that I'm still breathing. Dead ; because I'm not breathing the same air that was once their's too.

"It's been so long.." I uttered fragilely. My eyes noticing certain weeds which has gathered around the grave because of the way they were unkept.

I crouched down slowly and began pulling out them quickly. The dead silence only broken down by the craspy sound emitted while I ripped off those stubborn plants. As each root got detached from the ground, I could see how much they resembled life; one day it is there, the next day it is snatched out by the hands of fate.
Cruel, but as simple as that.

"I'm sorry for my disappearance for a wole year." I apologised softly as I pulled out the last one.

"It's not like I forgot about you all. No, never. I-uh..I felt too weak to face you three again. I couldn't. Th-the guilt...it was eating me from the inside. But trust me, there has been not even a single day when you three didn't cross my mind." I poured out my heart sincerely.

When I finally made sure they were weed-free, I looked at the row of tomb stones, one by one. My lips curved up painfully while tears coiled in the corners of my eyes.

"Look at you three, still close to each other despite all these years. This is completely unfair. I'm jealous." A soft humorless chuckle left my lips. "Do you know how that make me feel?"

My right hand reached out to the very first grave, placing a single strand of white rose right in the middle of the cold stone bed, trying my best not to tremble inbetween.

"Hello dad." I smiled at my father's tomb stone, a smile smeared with sorrow. "How've you been? Missed me?" My eyes started to well up as I continued with the pointless conversation.