When it's dark look at the stars.

Who am I? (!!read warning before reading!!)

Hello!!! (please read this before continuing)

 Before this chapter starts I want everyone to know that this contains a lot of suicide mentions as well as self-harm and other graphic things that will require trigger warnings. I will be adding warrings to each title as well as song suggestions to listen to while reading that specific chapter. I also want to credit this whole idea for this story to a book I read in 5th grade called "Restart" by Gordon Korman although this book is for younger kids I recently picked it up again to refresh the story and that book opened so many new roads for me ( I remember getting gender envy from it in the 5th grade even though I had no flying fuck what that was 💀). Anyway I guess all i'm trying to say is reread a book you loved as a kid it may really help your thinking also thanks so much pookie Gordon 😘 

(update like 2 mins later I found out pookie Gordon is BALD?!?! 😰)

Thanks for reading the warning!! 

Song suggestion: Treehouse - Alex G 

Heavy hands.. where the fuck am I-? Boy? Scars? Arms... Who am I? I shake the head my neck seems to be holding, a piece of red dyed hair comes in and out of my vision. I look down again to make sure Im me..? Who is me? Im wearing a hospital gown. Am I a boy? I run my hand down my chest I feel bumps I have a chest like a women. who am I? I hear someone in the hall talking "There's this kid in room 308 he has a extremely sad story, hes trans and commit suicide he's been in a coma for 2 months but his parents haven't came and visited him once. It's only been his boyfriend and his best friend Oliver." What room am I in? Could that be me? Who am I!! I hear the sound of shoes slapping the ground. Someone turns into my room one of the people is in scrubs, and the other is tall with messy brown hair he has very sparkly eyes. Who is he? The person in scrubs sees my eyes open and gasps "HE'S AWAKE?!" she says in a kinda excited tone. This whole situation confuses me because the boy on the right of her starts crying. Am I that important? how long have I been out? the boy walks over to me "Chase!! it's me Julian" I stare at him and smile because I have no idea who he is. One of the people in scrubs walks over to me and takes this sharp thing out of my arm. I hear Julian say something like " I need to call Oliver." This is when I stop for a minute am I really the kid that committed suicide? I look to my side and grab what i'm pretty sure is my phone I have so many notifications one of them reads 

brooke 6/15/22 

"lmao pussy can't believe you actually killed yourself." 

I pick my head up from looking down, I must of let her win because who sends a message like that? I hear shuffling around me i look up and see Julian walking around. How do i know him? Who is he in relationship to me? 

I hear someone walking down the hall really fast. I look towards the door a short-ish boy walks through the door he has brown hair, and a nice smile. he looks at me and smiles "CHASE!" he says I don't know what to do I have no idea what I sound like I've been a comma for 2 months according to that person in the hall.  Fuck, what do I say? "Hey!" I say my voice is deep and scratchy like it is when you wake up, WELL FUCK I'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS!! Julian looks over to me " You can talk!?" he says "I guess?" I say back he seems like a cool person I just don't know how i know him. from what I heard from that person in the hall Oliver is my best friend, they also said I had a boyfriend. Julian..he's my boyfriend.  " Hi Oliver, hi Julian!" I say they both smile Julian still has tears in his eyes. " Chase, do you remember me?" Julian says "I wish I remembered more." I say. "I'm your boyfriend!! and Oliver is your best friend. The doctors said that your memory will probably come back little by little in a few weeks." Right after Julian says that it triggers something inside me I remember.. this memory of this older man screaming at me "Sit down!" He's loud, he's angry. I feel this thing like i'm reliving this moment I can feel my cheeks getting hot like i've been crying. "Chase?" Oliver says I lift myself out of my flash back. I decide that I should probably ask who my parents are "What happened to my parents?" I say, I see Julian and Oliver look at each other, " You're parents were mentally abusive." One of the boys says. "I remembered something." I say "A man with grey hair yelling at me."  "That's your dad" Oliver says " Your mom yells alot, but your dad only yelled when he felt like he needed too." "who am I?" I ask. Oliver looks at me so confused, I understand though, imagine having to ask another person about yourself. "Well ur charlie finn, 17 years old, trans, gay." "How did I end up here?" I ask, but I already know that answer.