Getting Better

... Extra help...

I really didn't need her.

If anything, she'd been nothing but a setback for me since I allowed her to sit down next to me.

Every assignment inside the folder I gave her was handed in on time, albeit done 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘺. I ended up doing the whole sheet by myself either way. I was always 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 close to snapping and simply firing her, but I constantly held myself back.

I hadn't had an assistant in years. And for the first time in forever, it feels like I might actually need one. Before, I would do my work myself- or with Minerva if she felt it, and there was little to no problem. But recently, papers have been piling up and I've been ignoring these giant stacks of due work for months on end for no apparent reason.

I never felt motivated anymore. Film is way past the time of monochrome, but everything still seems black and white to me.

Making these mind-blowing, record setting movies was once such a thrill. It used to be so rewarding, walking onto a screen and millions of tiny smiles appearing.

I don't know when that stopped, exactly.

At first, I just waved it off as a lethargic period, having turned off my email notifications and procrastinating on useless assignments as a form of healing. I wanted to let my mind rest, but quickly realized that it so much more than just feeling tired.

The stress piled on as I put off my duty, and the feeling never faded or went away. I was dragging myself to the studio, throwing myself to the verge of puking with my acting, all while believing that it was something I could get over.

Cabinets became full, desktops were crowded, and it got to the point where I spent more time in the lounge area than in my own home, forcing myself to think it meant I was being productive. In the end, it only made it worse. Constantly being surrounded by work and demands and cameras and rumors and hate, it felt like every inch of motivation I had holed up inside me somewhere was sucked from me.

So I stopped coming to work.

And boy, how long that worked out. Not even a week later, I was sitting back in my leather seat, desperately trying to keep my eyes open as I tried to lower my pile of papers.

Allison was no help at the moment, having gotten almost everything on each paper incorrect and forcing me to do double the work for the both of us. But I was too tired to say anything about it, and simply placed the dead wrong sheets on my still growing stack of redoes.

She did know how to make coffee though, and her 𝘨𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘴 made my eyelids just slightly less heavy with their taste.

For now, until I find someone better, she'll have to do.

I slammed a folder on my desk and sighed, pushing away from my chair and standing.

There was a small water dispenser in the corner of my office, nearly empty, and I walked over to grab a drink.

"Uh, actually, sir? There was a bottle of pressed coconut water in the basket I gave you. "

I scoffed, " The only 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 thing here is my patience. Shut up and mind your own business. "

Coconut water sounded really good at the moment. But I wasn't about to tell her that. Instead, I forced down slightly chunky water from the months without cleaning dispenser, grimacing and leaving more thirsty than before.