Would You Defy Gravity for Me? (TBD hiatus)

Chapter 6- Its Not Therapy, Its Chuuya (But What's the Difference?)

— massive trigger warning for implications of self harm and suicide in this one. please skip that part of this chapter if you need to. there will be a warning marking where that part of the chapter starts. —

      5 years, 10 months before Atsushi Nakajima wins gold at the World Figure Skating Championships.
    Chuuya was laying on his back, staring at the too-perfect ceiling of the apartment. The first time he'd woken up in this room, his chest had been fluttering with excitement at the chance to be here. But now, all he felt was disgust at the expensive, soft sheets wrapped around him, at the just-right firmness of the mattress, at the fluffy pillows that always seemed to have a cold side. He hated what it meant. It meant that his old life was over- He'd never wake up to his friend's snores ever again. Would never share a feeble serving of Akira's burned pancakes with the half-asleep zombies. Would never see them again. Yeah, the place was nice, but what was the point if he was going to be living in it alone?
    How had he managed to get himself into this mess? He'd considered himself so strong- how had he let Dazai and the Port Mafia wrap him around their fingers? So preoccupied with his past, he'd sold his present and future away.
    He sighed, sitting up. The said past was currently lying on the bedside table to his right, in the form of Rimbaud's letter. He still had yet to open it, telling himself he was just waiting for the right moment, but at this point, he wasn't sure if that moment was ever going to come.
    He cast the depressing thoughts from his mind, standing up to get ready. He had yet to get his stuff from the Sheep's apartment, so Dazai had been generous enough (forced) to lend Chuuya some of his old clothes. The button-down white shirt and grey vest fit well enough, and he only needed to roll the pants up a few times to avoid tripping over them. It was more formal than he was used to, but he had to admit, he looked pretty good.
    There were some up sides to his new situation. For one, the first thing Mori had done was assign Ozaki Kouyou to coach him. Before she retired to become a coach a few years ago, she was one of the most well-known female solo figure skaters in the world, dominating the international women's skating scene. Her name hadn't come up very much in recent years, but when Chuuya was younger, he'd idolized her. Their first meeting had been a little (a lot) awkward- he'd barely been able to mumble a complete sentence through the anxiety. It had been a month since then. She was actually a lot kinder than you'd think, once you got past her intimidating aura. She was terrifying at first, but it was obvious that she cared about her skaters. She was probably Chuuya's favorite part about joining the Port Mafia- honestly, she was becoming kind of a big sister to him (not that he'd ever admit it).
    He drained the last of his teacup (Kouyou had introduced him to the leaf juice, and he'd gotten quite hooked on it), before grabbing his skating bag as he walked out of the apartment.
    "The fuck are you doing up so early?"
    Chuuya internally groaned as he heard the sleep-slurred voice. This was one of the parts of his new life that he didn't like quite as much.
    "Go back to sleep, asshole. I'm going to practice with Kouyou. Not that it's any of your business," Chuuya snarled, turning to face Dazai. He'd been unfortunate enough to get assigned the apartment directly next to him, since all of the other dorms were taken. It was annoying enough to have to see him every day for practice, why did he have to deal with this brat at the crack of dawn, too?
    Chuuya thought back to when he'd naively believed that he'd never have to see Dazai again after the Junior Nationals. Both he and Dazai had had quite the outburst after Mori had told them that their partnership wouldn't be terminated, but instead extended.

    "Since you qualified for the Junior Internationals, I've decided to enter you both into that competition, as a pair. Why quit while we're ahead?"
    "What?!"
    Mori sighed at their roars of outrage. "I expected you wouldn't take my news well. Nevertheless, you two will need to learn to put your differences aside. I expect you to take gold, this time. Don't fail me."