Dear Spencer

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝙺𝚒𝚍𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎,

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟷 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝙺𝚒𝚍𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚛𝚎,

I was sitting here in the middle of a mall. I had been homeschooled the last few years because I wasn't ready to go back to school after my body healed. Mom had homeschooled me up until now and I was adjusting to big crowds and being out in public after having left the public eye years prior. I was adjusting to the world around me.

My therapist Poppy had given me a little assignment to help prepare me for my senior year of high school. I was nervous as hell, and she thought the mall was a good place to start. Being around people without being stuck in the room with them would get me use to crowds at a distance.

I had swallowed down my quick response to reject her idea with a pregnant pause before my gaze had wondered to the window that faced the near empty parking lot of her practice. My eyes roamed over the desert like landscape that settled just over the highway. I was a vast expanse of land that stretched for miles, and it seemed beautiful.

"Spencer?" She called out softly, patiently.

I returned back to find her blue eyes watching me with curiosity.

I nodded my head at her suggestion, and she grinned from ear to ear clapping her hands in glee. I let her explain the exercise and the journaling she recommended after and took notes in a leather-bound notebook that Levi had gifted me a week earlier.

And today was my third outing by myself to the mall and it actually went better than the first two where I seemed to last no more than an hour.

I found my gaze lingered more on clusters of people making their way to one end of the mall or the other, but I found the smell of the food court more interesting than the loud chatter that seemed to fill out three stories that filled out the mall.

My hands seemed less shaky as I stood from the bench and made my way to a trash can throwing away my cup before I find my exit.

As soon as I head out of the doors, I'm hit with the hot desert weather and instantly missed the air-conditioned galleria as the sun beats down my back all the way to my jeep. I slip my keys out of my denim shorts and unlock my door swiftly getting in and starting the car to be met once again with a blasting a/c. I briefly wipe my hands on my denim before snatching my phone from my bag sending Levi a text.

-Spencer- Heading your way.

-Levi- Okay Spence, drive safe and see you soon. I love you.

-Spencer- Love you too.

I lock my phone before I set it in the drink holder and buckle up before sliding out of the lot and head toward the freeway entrance.

I've memorized the route from the mall to the tattoo shop Levi works at. I've had his address memorized the day he accepted his job offer as a tattoo artist there. It was a place I would frequent the most. I had liked the atmosphere of the shop and found myself enjoying the quite calmness that seemed to linger. It never seemed crowded, but I'd guess Levi only had me over on slower days.

I merged with the afternoon traffic and find myself glancing at the side of the highway seeing nothing but dessert. And actual cactuses, cacti? I shook my head in disbelief.

Coming from New York where there was only city and suburban landscapes this was something completely new. But I didn't mind. Although I was still adjusting to the heat, I found myself enjoying the calmness of the city in comparison to NY. And no one knew me here, no one knew my family here either and that seem to make things easier.