Dear Spencer

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟹 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚃𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚃𝚛𝚢 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛?

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟹 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚃𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚃𝚛𝚢 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛?

Logan and Levi's relationship was strained to say the least. And to be honest it was more so on Logan's side than Lee's side. I've asked if it was my fault because I was closer to Levi than Logan, but Levi said it wasn't.

I wanted to doubt it, but Levi promised that wasn't the biggest problem that they had between themselves, but he refused to tell me what the actual problem was saying I didn't need to take on any drama between the two of them.

So, I never pushed.

Shea and I both recognized the hostility in Logan's tone as Levi's grip on Shea loosened. Shea moved back before catching my gaze.

I shrugged in response because I didn't know where this had come from any more than Shea did.

"I waited several years before I got this work done. It's my first piece. Tattoos are permanent and I don't want Shea rushing into his first ink because I don't want him to regret it later." Levi says rather levelheaded despite how Logan started this conversation.

"Did you even take time thinking about your first ink? You got it a month and a half of being here?" Logan spits back coolly.

Levi turns around to look Logan directly in the eye. "I spent two years designing the tattoo. It wasn't a half-assed idea, Lo. You know that." Shea, Logan and I all seem to look down at the partial sleeve Lee has plastered on the back of his arm.

In the center was a quote Lee and I choose together.

I didn't realize it at the time but at the end day of an especially shitty day of intense therapy, Levi had picked me up and we headed home. I hid out in the library of our home and Lee found me there an hour later.

We read together in silence for the entire afternoon into early evening. But later that day I had read a passage in one of my favorite books and found the perfect quote that seemed to embody how I was feeling.

Levi and I were both reading together, our backs against one of the large shelves when I bumped his shoulder. He looked over at me curiously and I read him the quote.

It was the first time I had spoken in months, and it was the first time I had felt the words accurately expressed how I felt.

Levi had stared at me for a good minute before he whispered quietly "Will you read it again please?" He had set down his book and slid his body fully towards me.

I nodded before taking a moment to clear my throat and took small breath before I repeated, "Doctoring her seemed to her as absurd as putting together the pieces of a broken vase. Her heart was broken. Why would they try to cure her with pills and powders?"-Leo Tolstoy

It was a long quote, but Lee used small font and the way in which he wrapped it along his entire arm was beautiful and seemed to fit perfectly. I knew the shading still needed to be added as well as more intricate details, but it was already so stunning.

Everyone knew why Lee choose the quote. It had been the first words I'd spoken in the longest disturbance of selective mutism I had ever had. When we had dinner that night Levi made sure to tell our parents because he knew therapy was finally working for me. They had been considering putting me back into an institution again because they weren't seeing any progress from my therapy at that time and had been extremely worried, I was regressing.

Until the quote.

That was several years ago but nobody forgot that day. I had finally started talking after being mute for so long.