I'm sitting on the floor near a charging point because all the cafe seats were taken, and no one there knows who I am or what course I'm on. No ones stopped me from walking in and charging my stuff. I guess that's neat.
I keep looking at random people and hearing random shit. Hmm... is that one out to get me???? Huh??? HUUUHHHh??
I think I hear someone cough or snort but it could be me laughing to myself.
I take a picture of my glorious face with a mask on it.
Random person: "he can't see us. He's gone mad."
I've been avoiding looking at people because I think that if I look at them (the objects of my psychosis), then they'll come after me.
I probably can't see them anyway.
I have a theory that I'm never able to see them unless they want me to, and that they only show themselves to me to drive me insane. For some reason. It makes no sense at all.
So, I might as well enjoy it.
Now I will stop looking for something that doesn't really change my life.
I hate this chapter because of how silly it sounds.
I keep going round in circles.
The signs of madness.
My voices tell me I'm mental some of the time.
—
Then I went to the comedy club.
I heard random shit.
Everyone made up random shit.
It was good.
Then I got over some of my phobias.
I probably have the comedy club tomorrow as well. And the day after.
No it's the next week.
I thought it was over a few days. Back to back.
I am now on the train hearing comical stuff.
I heard something about "fighting over someone's power" but I have no power.
"What's that drug find?"
"From where?"
Meaningless stuff which I'll turn into a story.
"We arrest him!"
"He told us to!"
Me: huh?
Nothing happened.
"Mission accomplished."
...
I think I hear things.
I think they're laughing.
Is it real ... is it fake ... does it matter ...
The laughter of my voices is much nicer. I love my voices. I love hearing voices. I praise my voices. My voices praise me.
Anyways.
During the comedy play, someone improvised a scene during which they told me to shoot an apple. They also said that the love of their life was standing under the apple.
The whole time I was thinking to myself, I'll try not to shoot the love of your life. It didn't occur to me till later to tell them to move the love of their life away from the shooting range.
I guess that's part of the comedy.
They also said they'd kill me with their archery skills if I shot the love of their life, but that was like a side speech, probably because I was stalling for words. Or going along with it.
Another time, it looked like the guy was miming a gun, so I jumped in and said, "shoot me!"
Then "I like dancing."
I should have probably kept on with the begging myself to be shot part, so that it would make more sense to the viewer.
I think that being self conscious held me back.
Or maybe I wasn't self conscious?
What if being random is the funniest thing ever.
I could refine that. Perhaps.
Me: send the chapter.
Voices: it's offish.
