Shattered Pieces

Thirteen

"Kennedy, I'm sorry. I can't do this right now. Just please, don't do anything crazy. Let me talk to him, please." I quickly end the call and dial my husband.

Full custody? He's not thinking straight. This little girl doesn't even know who we are.

The rings seem to go on forever until, unsurprisingly, I'm greeted by his voicemail.

"Full custody?!" I panic out loud.

"When did he even have time to do that between yesterday afternoon and today?" Ms. Grace begins to pace the room.

"His teammate's wife is a judge. She helped expedite the processing for all the paperwork with my dance studio."

"Please tell me you're kidding. This isn't good, Liv."

"I know, I know." I throw my phone in frustration. "He won't answer me. I don't know where he is. I'm afraid to call him teammates because I don't want them in our business. I'm losing my mind." I begin to feel lightheaded the drier the air becomes.

"Hey, Liv, honey. Look at me. We're going to figure this out, okay." Ms. Grace grabs my head between her hands. "We'll find him and figure all of this out."

"What if he left us?" I begin to sob.

"He'd never leave his son." She wipes my tears away as they fall.

"Grayson, maybe. Me, on the other hand... you didn't see the way he looked at me. You didn't hear the anguish in his voice when he spoke to me."

We sway back and forth as she tries to soothe me, and for a moment, my mind slows just a bit. Then reality comes crashing in like a freight train.

"Oh gosh, Grayson. He's going to try to take Grayson from me." My knees give out, and Ms. Grace absorbs all of my weight, bracing us before we can crash into the ground.

"He would never. He loves you, Liv; he'd never hurt you like that. You know him."

"Maybe I don't. I thought I did, but maybe I don't." I whisper. "I need my son; I have to hold my son," the panic sets in.

"Not like this, sweetie; you'll scare him."

"I just– I." Coherent thoughts fail me. I can hardly breathe. Can we just rewind time? Rewind four fucking years so I can do everything differently. So I can save the marriage I never even saw myself losing. My entire world has been slipping slowly from my grasp, and I never even knew it. This is a part of my story I wish I didn't have to live.

"Let me get your mom, Liv. A girl needs her mom at a time like this."

"She... she's so unforgiving. You know this. She'll never understand. She doesn't believe in mistakes, only choices. She'll never understand. She'll say she warned me against getting married this young. She'll take the opportunity to point out how I barely knew Spencer when we got married. She—she'll never understand."

I'm nauseous, and my hands are shaking as each moment passes without me hearing my husband's voice. I cling to the sound of his voice the way I clung to him in that shower. I knew when I let him go my world was going to fall apart. I wish I'd never let him go.

I think of the laughs at the restaurant, the intimacy on the drive home. It was all a lie. A test I'd failed before I ever even knew I was taking it.

I'm angry with him, with myself. He knew in that arcade. I knew on our wedding day. We're supposed to be better than this. All he wanted was the truth from me, and all I wanted was for that same truth to not rip my heart out.

"I— she wasn't supposed to have his kid. His baby girl. She..."

"Oh, Olivia." Ms. Grace wraps me in a tight embrace.