The Guy Department

One

"I am Not late. I was NOT LATE!....Damint, I was late again." I muttered to myself as I walked down the sidewalk. I still held true that I wasn't late. In fact, I was two minutes early. But the school bus driver loved to see me suffer. Actually, most people liked to see me suffer. My peers at school had been teasing me and bullying me since Grade 2 and now in Grade 11, I guess the teachers and other school faculty members decided it was okay to join in? Or had they secretly been peer pressured into doing it too?

I wondered these things as I walked home. I'd have taken the city bus, but it was always so crowded at this time of day by the college kids wanting to get home after their afternoon classes. Being cramped on a sweaty, sticky hot bus with who knows who sitting next to me wasn't something I was looking forward to. Sometimes it could be a smelly homeless person who had more teeth than a hockey player, sometimes it could be a hockey player who was more handsy on my knee than he was with a puck on the ice, sometimes it could be a Karen who thought her bus ride was more important than everyone else's. It was just something I'd rather not deal with. So, I walked.

Besides, four miles wasn't all that bad when you thought about it. For miles walking at a quick pace was less than an hour of walking, right? Not that bad at all. I could do this. In fact, it might be better for me to walk to and from school rather than take the bus. There'd definitely be less teasing and poking and elbowing and "accidental hitting." Kids thought they were so smooth. Haha no! I have the bruises to prove that backpack that "mysteriously fell after hitting that speed bump" was no accident. Book bags don't get launched like that and bringing home all of your books for studying when you've never cracked open a book in your life is far fetched as well, but being slammed with a 30lb backpack and then laughing with your buds while I try to collect myself and not pass out is more believable. Yeah, four miles wasn't that bad.

I felt a droplet of water hit my hand and I glanced up to the sky to see dark clouds. Oh no. I had about maybe thirty seconds to find shelter from this rain or else I'd be soaked to the bone. I remembered someone saying something about having an umbrella in their locker today while I was washing my hands in the girls restroom, but it didn't register that was because it was supposed to rain today. My umbrella was where most responsible people kept theirs - somewhere (probably under my bed) at home. What? It hardly ever rained here. Raining was like an event. People would go outside, lay in their driveways and film a TikTok when it rained because it was so rare. Restaurants had "Rainy Day Specials" like free ice cream or free hot chocolate because it never rained. But when it did rain...lines around the block. Wow. Remind me to never go get hot cocoa when it rains.

I looked wildly around me in all directions. Of course, I would be smack in the middle of our city's business district. There were no cafes to hide in while the rain passed. Just a few department stores where the employees look at you funny when you loiter too long. It was uncomfortable to be silently stared at, but being stared at and possibly whispered about was better than being soaking wet. I was still about three miles away from home at this point and without an umbrella, I'd be miserable by the time I got there. I decided to enter the department store closest to me and take my chances. Besides, if the stares and whispers got bad enough, I could just hide out in the Ladies' Lounge. It was just a place near the restrooms that had couches and lounge chairs, a place to privately rest or wait for someone who was taking too long. Maybe I'd even head straight to the Lounge and get a jump start on my homework. I had a test in History class coming up that I should really study for.

As soon as I entered the store, bells and whistles were ringing in my ears. Swirling lights were flashing all around me and I wondered if I had walked into a fire drill situation and everyone inside was about to trample me. I thought, maybe I should move, go back outside, but it was now raining and I felt like a deer caught without a decision. Jump further onto the highway or run back into the forest. Eventually, something caused my feet to move and I started to turn to go back out. I really didn't want to be a pancake today. I got that enough times at school.

"Hold on a minute! Slow up! Stop her!" a voice called out.

Two sets of arms turned me around and guided me back into the store. So maybe this wasn't some kind of fire drill? Or were they trying to set me up for a prime pancaking spot. Stand here and everyone will squish you.

I was guided up to a woman in her mid 50's. She had straightened brown hair and bright blue eyes. She reminded me of someone. Someone I had seen before. Maybe on tv? In the news? On an internet ad? I couldn't place her familiarity. She had a bright smile on her face that stretched all the way up to her eyes, "Congratulations! You're our Millionth Customer since our Opening five years ago!" she said happily. She pulled a ribbon nest to her and a waterfall of balloons and confetti fell from behind her.

"I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong person." I said quietly.

"Don't be shy! You're our winner! Congratulations!" she repeated.

"N-No, I just came here because it's raining outside and I don't have an umbrella. I'm not a customer." I said quickly.

The smile on the woman's face faltered, "What?" she questioned. She seemed to buffer for a moment before she said, "Well, we already dropped the balloons and they're difficult to clean up so whether you came in here to shop or not, you're our winner." By the time she finished, the smile had been replaced, but it was a little less wide and her eyes had lost that happy glow they held earlier.

"What's going on?" an employee whispered to another from behind me.

"I don't know." the other replied.

"Come with me so you can collect your prize!" the woman said with less enthusiasm from before.

"Where am I exactly?" I asked as I looked around. With all the balloons and confetti coating the lobby it was difficult to make out where I was and I hadn't glanced at the company's name on the way in.

"My dear, you are at The Guy Department. Now come with me so you can collect your prize!" the woman said before she latched onto my arm and started pulling me further into the department store.

"The-what-now?" I asked as I tried to pull away from her, but she had a tight grip. This was supposed to be a place of companionship and dreams fulfilled, but mostly it was just a heartbreak factory. After people got what they wanted and their contracts ended, their charges would go back to their department and stand on a riser, waiting for someone else to walk by and show a little interest in them. They left their buyers lonely and feeling forgotten. Most people suffered after their contracts ended. I wasn't surprised it took the company five years before having a millionth customer. People who came here only did because it was a last resort. They needed someone to make them look good at a wedding, or a kid needed an older sibling for a school event, or a woman was just sick of being the only single person left in the family. Most people who walked in here weren't people looking for a new purse to make them feel better about themselves. They were looking for someone to make other people think they were doing well in life. Only to have it all come crashing down at the end of the contract.

It wasn't a place I wanted to be. I didn't want to win. I didn't want to collect a prize. Hell, I'd take walking home in the rain over this. "Will you please let me go? Choose someone else!" I begged.

She looked over her shoulder and glared at me, "That's it! I'm taking you to see the owner! Maybe she can talk some sense into you!" the woman said as she started to drag me in a new direction, through some narrow hallways and to an elevator. She shoved me inside and followed me, pressing the button for the top floor as she turned to face the closing doors. "Once you meet Veronica, you'll see just how lucky you are." she muttered as the elevator started to rise.