Always, Arlo [Published]

Chapter 8

publicity

It's Saturday night and I'm sitting at my vanity finishing the last touches of my makeup. I'm wearing a skintight black dress and knee high boots, an outfit so simple yet I've thought it over about a hundred times.

I don't know if my outfit is too much or too little, what if I look too overdressed? Or maybe I'm just not dressed up enough. The thoughts are drowning me as my stomach is fluttering with nerves.

I'm beyond anxious, I've never been apart of a scene like this before. This will push me out of my comfort zone much farther than i've ever gone before.

I've found myself too comfortable in the shadows, in the darkness that i've been forcibly pushed into. Although i'm holding a hand that is leading me to the light, I still have my eyes closed to embrace the dark that I used to drown inside of.

But this can't go on no more, I have to open my eyes and move forward. Go onward to the brightness the little angel is leading me into. Even if im nervous, even if im scared, I have to push myself to be better.

I fluff out my curls and stare at myself in the mirror. Staring back is the reflection of a girl with a black curly afro, brown doe eyes and a button nose. Full plump lips and a heart shape face, skin the shade of mocha-brown. She's Valentina Morgan, not the one from now but the one from high-school. She would've wanted this for us, she would've jumped from the happiness to know i'm getting offered an opportunity so big. Staring into my own eyes I see her, that burning youth wanting to come out and live.

It's a different type of mourning when you miss the way that you were before. When you know that what you wish to be now was in your grasp but evaporated past your fingers like it was never even there to begin with. The memories of before dont feel real, because how was she so happy then, when now she's a fragment of what she used to be.

The butterfly who flew and embraced her wings. She danced in the breeze, was so happy with herself and her surroundings. Her vision was so clouded with euphoric emotions she could hardly see the spider's web that captured her until she was swarming to break free. The spider nipped at her wings causing her ability to fly to only become a fading memory. The butterfly somehow managed to escape from the spider's web, but now she was scared to soar the sky the way she did before.

In fear that she'll get trapped in another web with a venomous insect like the very spider who took away her pride; her dignity. Even after her wings healed and she was set to fly again she never tried, she wasn't ready to go through the pain and mourning of her beautiful wings getting taken from her again. It wasn't until another butterfly encouraged her with soft words to fly again. Only then she used her wings and started all over again.