Hazy dream

Chapter 1

My name is Elise Whitlock. Never in my life will I be happy. Never in my life will I smile. Never in my life will I-.....Never in my- ....Nev-.... I quickly clamped my mouth shut with both of my hands as I choked back the tears. I'm hopeless. I can't even finish my sentences in my head. I was weak, tired, sad but mainly a wreck. Crying, and sniffing away more tears I quickly ran to the bathroom and locked myself in there. Why must I be so unwanted? So fat so ugly? Why? Maybe I'm just not good enough.

Psshh your worthless! Your simply selfish, annoying, and desperate! As if anyone will like you with that kind of attitude! Your simply a pig inside and out!

I slumped down the door and began to hiccup making me look more of a hot mess. Crying. That's all I'm good at. I remember once when I was a child I never really made contact with anyone at the church. I was always quiet. Often the sisters would come near me and try to talk to me but id either begin to cry or run away and cry. I even peed my pants whenever they would just touch my shoulder in reassurance. That of coarse made a bad rep on my life since then. Often the other girls yanked at my hair and called me El-piss shit-lock. They marked me as their main target. Even Locked me up In the confession room just so they can all hear me say that I'm a big scary cat that pisses myself whenever I feel like it. Like as if it was a game. Nonetheless They got their way. No one adopted me but the church certainly made sure I was well educated and "happy" staying underneath a roof and perfectly fed and cleaned. But that was that and it all ended soon. Deep down I knew they could care less if I'm still alive or not.

No one cares

I bit my tongue and failed miserably to try and fight back more tears from burning down my cheeks. I should just end this!

-scratch scratch

I gasped and quickly rubbed the tears away harshly. Getting up I caught myself staring at my reflection. I looked boney. Almost dead. Pale skin. Dark chocolate brown hair that looked like it needed a good wash and a comb to go through it multiple times. Brown eyes with bags underneath from all of the crying and mascara smeared cheeks that also had a tint of blush. I definitely looked dead. If that even makes any sense.

I quickly turned the knobs of the sink and began to wash away all of the makeup. As soon as I finished I tried to breathe in and out evenly as I made my way towards the towel hanging on the towel rack. I noticed my hand was shaking vigorously but I ignored it and began dabbing away the water from my face I sniffled and found myself needing toilet paper to clean my nose. Ew I know. I sighed as I unlocked the door and opening it to find a furry feline in front of me.

Fenris. The green eyed creature walked in between my legs making loops as he snuggled and purred at my ankles. God why is this creature so annoying yet so cute? I chose to walk away from him and make my way towards the kitchen. Behind me I could hear his soft mewls and cat bell that was placed around his neck when I first decided he was mine, come closer and closer and finally, abruptly stop right next to my right ankle. He snuggled and purred deeply at my ankle once again. He's comforting me. Or he's hungry.

I made my way towards the cabinet that holds all of his meals and etc. pulling out a can of cat food. He likes this stuff. I went over to his bowl and simply dumped it. Done. And sure enough the stupid cat began to eat. Purring loudly on content. Even my own cat uses me. Tough love.

I sighed deeply and settled with eating cereal and watching tv.

*****

Slowly I began to feel myself drift to sleep but only found myself getting up to go straight to bed. Quickly shutting the door before Fenris could get in I jumped into my bed allowing in the same warmth I loved and craved every night.

-scratch, scratch....."meow!"

That damn cat! I'm freaking tired! Can't he just a leave me alone?! I chose to ignore him as I sank further into my sheets and began closing my eyes.

-Creak!
I was too tired to even turn my head and check how the feline entered the room. I probably didn't close the door right.
Slowly...slowly..... My eyes fluttered open and closed.

I should've jumped out of the bed as soon as I felt the bed dip down along with the extra body heat radiating from behind me. But I didn't. I was too tired and frankly I could care less who kills me to this point. A low chuckle was swept across my face and ear as I felt goosebumps form up and down my body. I shifted slightly and found myself staring at two emerald orbs in front of me. Hazily I ignored it all and let myself slowly flutter my eyes open and close. Sleep let me in. Consume me. And it did. Only slowly.

********
(A/N)

So this is my first book!!
So please don't copy it and also please don't say rude things. Also this is unedited so this shit right here is sorta a mess. It's currently SUPER late and I'm just tired / exited because I've been needing to post something like this!!!
And yes it might get gory and probably 18+ so yeah........... Good luck!

Also please leave a vote!!
Let's me know and motivates me to... You know.... Post.

And if you were wondering more about Elise she isn't fat she just sees herself like that because remember she's just honestly broken and is VERY self-conscious. After all the crap I'm going to tell you, you'll understand.