However Long The Night

ELEVEN: How does it feel, to lose all you've stood for?

It'd been quick, with no time to protest or think or process. Once Captain Levi and Section Commander Hange got the news of the titan attacks, the formation was rerouted to do around the area of impact and all troops were ordered to return to the gates of Klorva. The route had failed, which means they still had much to figure out.

Jean rode Orion for hours before seeing Rosie again. The most time he got to think of her was when Armin, Eren and Mikasa rode beside him, Eren asked if he was okay and Armin took notice of the horse he was riding.

There was no sign of her around them. Jean said nothing of it, didn't get a chance to explain why he was riding alone on his partner's horse when the formation turned and went the other way. "Jean!" Armin yelled over the sound of dozens of horses racing in the same direction. "Jean!"

Jean's face didn't give Armin a good feeling. "Where's Rosie?"

Jean kept the horse at full speed, moving further than all of them.

"Jean!"

"I don't know!" Jean shouted back. Armin recoiled at the harshness of his tone. The gates of Klorva were within eyesight. All scouts went even faster, pushing their horses to their limits at the promise of safety, but regretful at the loss of freedom.

The horses rushed through the narrow gate, not stopping until every last one was inside. At the sound of the gate shutting them out from the outside, silence fell over the city. The people had waited, excited and with open arms. For once they dared to believe in the farfetched cause of the regiment. They wished to wholly believe that the wings of freedom could take flight. Except that, like every other time, their hopes were trampled by the slow crawl of the wagons carrying the mutilated corpses of their soldiers.

Most civilians didn't bother with speaking their disappointment. It could be felt. They walked away, leaving the family members of the dead to collect their pounds of flesh. Another that stayed was Commander Erwin, watching his troops come back with the face of defeat, one they were all used to, but had been wishing to extinguish. Deep down, the defeat and the blood made his airways go tight, but he held his head up high and greeted his subordinates with the icy calm known to him.

"Jean." Armin hopped off his horse after him. He'd refused the help of Sasha and Connie, who'd rushed to his aid after seeing his state, opting to swallow the pain of broken ribs and get down himself from the gigantic animal. "Where is Rosie?"

Jean sighed, hung his head and didn't answer. Eren came up beside them, followed by Mikasa. Armin waited, giving him time to process the emotions that impeded an answer. Seconds went by. Then minutes.

"Jean-"

"I don't know, dammit! She was with me one moment after Petra... Petra... shit!"

"Did you see her die, Jean?"

Jean looked up to his captain, but was unable to keep the eye contact when forcing the words out of his mouth. "Yes."

Captain Levi did not move a muscle in his face. "How?"

"We were ambushed by a sixteen meter, I think. She pushed Rosie out of the way and cut the titan's eyes out, screaming for us to run. It ate her."

Captain Levi looked away. Petra Ral had been one of his best, one of his closest. Not many times had the captain gotten close with his soldiers; their default position on the front lines made them prone to dying. Ral had been of the few that had the kind of personality even the stoics of their little world couldn't resist. He'd confided in her, trusted her, cherished her. She'd been a wonderful soldier and person. But that didn't save her from the reality of the world. Nothing fit Petra Ral quite like giving her heart for humanity. Humanity to Petra wasn't grand like the captain and commander saw it. It was in the individuals as much as the masses, in the resistant as much as the willing.