i know i love you | yeonbin

chapter 1 - people watching

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Yeonjun walked home from work, sick to his stomach.

He was depressed you could say. He could hear this voice in his head, one that sounded very much like his own, telling him he was worthless and that he would be lonely forever. He thought this voice was right as it was one of those things that stuck with him throughout his life. It would never come and go, like most of the people around him. He would listen to it as he thought it was right. It calmed him at times, made him feel loved at times, and comforted him when no one else was there. He was over this voice at this point and he just listened to it as there was no way to get rid of them, none that he could think of.

He was a shell of himself at this point. Hollow and lonely, with a dash of dread, he still did the things he had to, forced himself to. The guilt and disappointment that he would think to leak through his partner in crime's conscience would be enough to tear his broken heart and soul into uncountable pieces. There was one person who he could count on that knew he would get better and pull himself out of the bottomless hole of sadness. 

"Yeonjun hyung you okay?" a voice asked, laced with concern.

God, the amount of anxiety that simple 2-word question brought Yeonjun.

"You look tired and you aren't even going in the right direction. Homes that way" he said pointing down a lonely yet colorful street. His features were sharp, and large eyes filled with care that spoke out more than words.

"I know Taehyun-ah I'm just going to the park." the red-hair said, not making eye contact.

Yes, dear reader, the person he counts on is none other than Kang Taehyun.

"Oh... okay do you need space or do you want me to join you?" Taehyun asked.

"Don't bother, I'll be back in 10. I don't wanna keep you waiting. Just please make me some ramyeon."

"mhm, Enjoy your walk." Taehyun said. And with a quick hug, they both went their ways.

The red-haired trudged toward the park, his heavy footsteps adding beats to the soft sound of the breeze that blew by. Head spinning with thoughts, stretching from warm, happy feelings from his childhood to the more bitter ones from the recent past. Taehyun's always been there for him, ever since the 7th grade, and Yeonjun was nothing short of grateful. Yeonjun didn't go for therapy, he had Taehyun. The raven head would ask him quite regularly if there was something wrong and instead of shutting him out, Yeonjun would answer. He never pushed him to tell him what was wrong, giving Yeonjun space whenever he felt like he needed it.

He entered the park and could hear the happy voices, a small bitter smile on his face remembering how he was when was younger; happy and mischievous and very very carefree.

He sat down on one of the wooden benches near the playground and looked at the little children with their colorful clothes and happy expressions, and watched them play. He saw a girl with cute pigtails climb up a slide, run down the little stairs, and pull in an older woman who he thought to be her mom and ask her to help her on the swing.

With a small smile, he looked around the park and spotted two people holding hands and his mood dropped instantly. He got up remembering that Taehyun must be waiting for him and started walking home. Just before leaving the park, he turned around to see the couple kissing. He shook his head and focused on the little girl from before, she was crying, she had fell. He felt bad for a second and walked close to her but remembered he was being waited for at home. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he turned on his heel and ran home.

He was happy for them, of course, just filled with bitterness  from the bottom of his broken heart.

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