I'm Normally Perfect (re-upload)

Chapter Thirty-One

Next morning was cloudless, an unseasonably warm 13°, but it only depressed me further and I hunkered down, just wanting the weekend to be over. I wanted loads of time to pass so Alex would forget about what happened—whatever it was I'd done wrong. I wondered how horrible a person I was because, even though it had made her uncomfortable, I couldn't get the feel of her skin out of my mind. It was so soft. And she smelt like heaven. And she'd kissed me back. I thought she had, anyway. In retrospect I wasn't sure.

At lunchtime I heard my door squeak open then Alex's voice behind me softly, 'Would you like something to eat?' I couldn't look at her or speak so I just shook my head and a moment later I heard her step on the stairs, leaving me. I'd need to let the school know that I'd be rooming in one of the halls next year, obviously I couldn't stay with her. That thought brought fresh tears that wouldn't stop and I lie on my side and tried to weep quietly, feeling like the world was falling in on me. How could I have done something so stupid? How could I have messed up the best friendship I'd ever had?

I dozed off and on for the better part of the day and as night began to fall I sensed someone's presence in the room, though I hadn't heard anyone approach. Alex sat on the edge of the bed beside me. She looked down at me and brushed a strand of hair away from my eyes then she looked out the window and folded her hands in her lap. After a long silence she said, 'We'd better get on with it if we're to be home before nine.'

Breathing was a chore I'd be grateful to be shot of, so having to sit up and pack seemed too much to bear. I pulled the blankets up under my chin. I only wanted to lie in that bed for the rest of my life, was that so much to ask?

Alex continued to look in the direction of the window. 'I think I know what happened yesterday.'

Do you? That's good, because one of us should and I surely don't.

'You're jealous of Stewart. You believe that my being with him is somehow a threat to you and our friendship and you were trying to assure yourself that I still loved you.'

No, I just wanted to kiss you, actually.

She looked down at me and said quietly, 'You've nothing to worry about. Neither Stewart nor anyone else could influence the way I feel about you.'

By this point I was utterly numb, but knew I should feel relief of some kind. I still couldn't speak, which was just as well as I hadn't the foggiest clue as to what would be an appropriate response. I nodded to let her know I'd heard her and hadn't gone deaf and dumb in one go. She stood and went to the door. From behind me she said, 'I apologise for the way I've acted. I hope you'll forgive me.' The stairs creaked with her footsteps.

What? Why would I need to forgive her? I was the one with no manners, who'd done something inexcusable. I rolled over, but she'd already gone. In a what-the-hell-is-she-on-about daze I packed the books I hadn't looked at as well as the few clothes I'd brought. As we were piling in her car Stewart eyed us both as though he wasn't sure what exactly was going on. Well, he could get in the queue.

At the house I went upstairs to unpack and as I was replacing my books Alex called to me from downstairs. Oh boy, she's suddenly realised that I should be the one offering profuse apologies and grovelling, and she's probably down there right now, waiting to chuck me out. I found her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter.

'Yeah?'

'You haven't eaten anything.' She pointed at the table, where there was a bowl of steaming liquid and a plate with a sandwich on. 'Tomato soup.'

I wasn't hungry, but was too bewildered to protest and ate whilst she tidied up. When she was finished wiping down the worktop she sat opposite me at the table and folded her hands in front of her, 'Are you feeling better?' I nodded and she added, 'Will you forgive me?'