Lennox Frye looked at the ribbed gun in his hands and felt afraid.
He walked over to the window and reflected on his grey surroundings. He had always hated dirty West Boggins with its eggy, expensive estuaries. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel jumpy.
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Richard Malkovich. Richard was a daring monster with solid biceps and gleaming eyes.
Lennox gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a frightened, useless, whiskey drinker with ugly biceps and dull eyes. His friends saw him as a scraggly, mop-like kitten. Once, he had even rescued a dog from a burning building.
But this frightened person who had once rescued a dog from a burning building, was not prepared for what Richard had in store today.
The wind blew like rampaging cattle, making Lennox even more afraid.
As Lennox stepped outside and Richard came closer, he could see the sweet glint in his eye.
"I am here because I want a fight," Richard bellowed, in a wild tone. He slammed his fist against Lennox's chest, with the force of 4759 crows. "I frigging hate you, Lennox Frye."
Lennox looked back, even more concerned and still fingering the ribbed gun. "Richard, if you jumped into a lake, nobody would look for you," he replied.
They looked at each other with jumpy feelings, like two rancid, stinking rats stabbing at a very violent accident, which had classical music playing in the background and two scheming uncles gyrating to the beat.
Suddenly, Richard lunged forward and tried to punch Lennox in the face. Quickly, Lennox grabbed the ribbed gun and brought it down on Richard's skull.
Richard's solid biceps trembled and his dirty eyes wobbled. He looked irritable, his body raw and faceted like a kaleidoscopic pork chop.
Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Richard Malkovich was dead.
Lennox Frye went back inside and made himself a nice screwdriver.
THE END
YOU ARE READING
Dirty West Boggins (and other short, nonsensical stories)
HumorI decided that it would be fun to use a story generator, so here's what it produced. This is a collection of website generated stories, lightly edited by yours truly. Have fun :) The website I used: www.plot-generator.org.uk/
