Dirty West Boggins (and other short, nonsensical stories)

Two Lovable Uncles Singing to the Beat

Zoe Godfrey looked at the magic book in her hands and felt fuzzy.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her sunny surroundings. She had always loved sleepy Exeter with its doubtful, deafening ditches. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel fuzzy.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Tony Bishop. Tony was a brave animal with ample eyes and vast ankles.

Zoe gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a witty, sweet, beer drinker with wide eyes and handsome ankles. Her friends saw her as a quick, quirky queen. Once, she had even helped a putrid puppy cross the road.

But not even a witty person who had once helped a putrid puppy cross the road, was prepared for what Tony had in store today.

The rain hammered like swimming goldfish, making Zoe worried.

As Zoe stepped outside and Tony came closer, she could see the yarbing glint in his eye.

"Look Zoe," growled Tony, with a special glare that reminded Zoe of brave snakes. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want revenge. You owe me 2605 gold pieces."

Zoe looked back, even more worried and still fingering the magic book. "Tony, let's get married," she replied.

They looked at each other with confident feelings, like two gentle, grotesque guppies jumping at a very spiteful engagement party, which had classical music playing in the background and two lovable uncles singing to the beat.

Zoe regarded Tony's ample eyes and vast ankles. "I don't have the funds ..." she lied.

Tony glared. "Do you want me to shove that magic book where the sun don't shine?"

Zoe promptly remembered her witty and sweet values. "Actually, I do have the funds," she admitted. She reached into her pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Tony looked unstable, his wallet blushing like a broken, boiled banana.

Then Tony came inside for a nice drink of beer.

THE END