Over again

chapter 3: let you know

(y/n POV)

 I run home through the rain. I didn't even notice I was drenched until i got inside. it must of started raining during the argument. at least it will hide any tears streaming down my red cheeks.

At that moment in time, while I'm standing at my wood door, taking off my water filled shoes and scrunching my hair to get the water out, I remember that Wilbur never actually told me when I'm leaving, or how long I have left here.

i start walking to my room anyway to pack when I realise I'm still wet to the bone, a puddle already forming on the floor, so I take off my jumper and jeans and hang them outside. before i go back in, Wilbur catches my eye. 

He's walking out of the bakery, looking down at the ground, the same look you have when your mother yells at you or grounds you. my best guess is that Niki found out what's going on and her protective bestie instincts took over her and yelled at him.

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I'm half way through packing my clothes, most of them I don't even like but pack them anyway, not knowing if dream will have any clothes for me. 98% of the clothes I have packed so far are hand-me downs from the boys and only a few from Niki, since she doesn't have many either.

I just finished clearing the last shelf when I see a L'manburg jacket still hanging up. Tommy gave this to me on the very first day I arrived here but, I never actually wore it because it was always two small from me. that was the first day we truly became friends.

After that I got out a box and put everything else inside, like Knick knacks or things I cant take and old clothes. I seal it shut and put it to the side to deal with later.

I step backwards, admiring the hard effort I put in, and seeing the end product gave me relief.

Looking over my, now empty, wardrobe, I see a box in the top shelf, barely noticeable. I grab a stepping stool form the kitchen and grab it, placing it on the floor. when I open the lid, I see old painting. Memories crash through my mind like a wave on a stormy day. I remember teaching Tubbo and Tommy how to paint, all I will say, is it ended up a big mess to clean up, just like when my mother taught me.

"I've always felt like a mother figure to the two. knowing that they grew up without one broke my heart and even though I knew I could never live up to the expectation that their mothers wanted to, I still tried to protect them like one, and I just hope it helped them in any way.

When looking through the different art works, I find the different places of L'manburg that I made from the first few months. I sift through the views, the hto van, a random tree that Tubbo made his flower crowns next to, and even one of everyone singing and laughing around a camp fire. I Place the painting back into the box, planning on going through the rest later.

I am about to place it over with my other boxes to take when I hear a knock on my door. dread fills me like I'm a glass, but its quickly poured out and re-filled with anxiety. Is it Wilbur coming to collect me to go? It could be Niki coming to say good bye, or the two boys coming to visit me and then having to explain that ill never see them again. I cant even imagine my self having to do that, id break down if I have to.

Another knock breaks me out of my train of thought so I push my self off the floor and walk to the door, not ready for whomever it is. I peak my head out after creaking it open and see the blond and brunette duo standing giddily out side, hiding from the ongoing rain. I bite my lip, not ready to explain the news to the two innocent boys. My vision is cloudy from the small amount of tears gathered in my eyes.

I cant think of how I'm going to tell them that their brother is sending me away to marry the enemy of this nation, so they could get the independence that they have worked so hard for, even the thought makes a tear, that was waiting in my eye, escape and trickle down my cheek.

"y/n?" the sound of Tubbos concerned voice makes me come back to reality. the reality i have come to hate. 

"are you alright?" the shivering blond says as I let the two in.

"Fine. I'm fine" a small voice crack escapes as a reassure the duo.

They immediately dart for the couch next to the fire that I lit earlier when I myself was shivering from the rain. So I follow them, knowing I have to tell them. I wait for their little conversation to die down to clear my throat. The pair look up and just looking at their two innocent, unknowing, faces puts me on the verge of tears escaping.

"Boys, I need to tell you something very important" they nod their head, letting me know i have their attention.

but I don't want their attention. I want them to be somewhere else. I don't want to ruin everything between them and Wilbur because of me, I would rather leave without them knowing and Wilbur tell some lie, and at least they wont hate Wilbur, but hate me instead because it wont matter if I will never see them again.

I sniffle up a tear and begin to explain anyway, knowing its for the best.

"I want to let you know that I'm going to be leaving L'manburg. Its not because of you, or anything you've done, I'm doing this for your safety." as soon as a say this their faces contort, mixed emotion wondering through them

Tommy is the first to speak up. "what do you mean? why are you leaving?" He asks in a high pitched voice, obviously very confused in the situation. I feel so bad, but they have the right to know.

"Dream has, uh, made a deal with Wilbur and I" I wipe a stray tear away before continuing.

" and in exchange fore  for L'manburg independence, I'm going to be staying with dream"

I  leave out the marriage part, not know how they would take it, but worse, how I would handle it telling them.

I look down, not wanting to see how they would react. Now I just let the tear flow, not bothering to wipe them away, letting them drop onto my jeans and make damp marks. I'm surprised when i hear the door slam shut, now seeing Tommy has left. Probably to go yell at Wilbur, that seems like the most Tommy thing to do right now.

But Tubbo is still sitting there, no emotions on his face, staring into the fire. after a few minutes he speaks up.

"I know your doing this for us y/n, but I want you to know how much of a great friend you are to me and Tommy. You have helped us through so much and I want you to know how much you mean to me. and I want you to know I will help you with anything before you leave"

This all comes as a surprise to me. Tubbo is never really the one to show affection like that, which helps me know that he truly means it. he wouldn't say it other wise. His affection is always physical, like making flower crowns or hugging me constantly.

"the only thing I want you to do is make sure Tommy isn't ripping Wilbur's head off right now" he smiles, making me smile, and salutes me before running out the door to Wilbur's place.

  Its makes me happy that I can make him smile even in the worst situation.

AUTHORS NOTE

I feel so bad for Tommy and Tubbo :(

don't forget to eat and drink, have a great day! and don't forget to like and vote!

(1355 words)