You know when I was twenty two I thought the worst thing that could happen was losing my High School sweetheart. It messed me up something fierce, best friends for nine years, together for seven, I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that I wouldn't have her in my life anymore. All those hours talking on the phone, sending stupid texts till the sun came up, all just gone in a little buggie up I-95. Leaving me of course to wallow in a pile of self doubt and loathing, thinking my very heart would come out my throat on the next choked sob. Of course it didn't, though I still thought it was the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.
Even when I started working a more than shitty register job at some Mid-Western Supermarket - you all know the kind - with the overtly tiresome person holding the line up with copious amounts of coupons and lip service to the dead eyed cashier, which was me at the time; I still thought that her leaving me was the absolute worst thing that could happen.
Of course we can't leave out waiting tables, which I truly thought would be a humbling experience. The nature of old hungry people really can shift that happy go lucky spirit into a dejected little ball of angst who isn't happy even to say hello to his next would be customers at the time. No I still thought her leaving me topped all of that misery, where you guffaw at every tasteless joke some ass hat says hoping to pinch at least a penny only to get stiffed cause they "don't believe in tipping."
Then I found myself here, in a sewer - my shoes filled with shit. Here beneath the never tired and always wired city of New York, which reeks of urine no matter where I stand. Here with my arm being woofed down by a seven foot tall Gator wearing a damned Yankee Stadium starter cap. But beyond my slowing train of thought, the blinding rush of memories that are cascading into my psyche right now, and of course my now severed arm being used as a teether, I find it a matter of service to start at the beginning of when it really got to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. I mean how could you forget the God damned hotdog.
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BLEED
ParanormalTomlin, a young man finds himself thrust into a meeting of monsters and mortals after a rather embarassing accident, which left him not only a ghoul to a rather capricious Vampire who so lovingly calls himself "Count Sandpaper" but horrendously inde...