Book III of UNC Series
While it's known that there are five stages of grief, did you know that there are also five stages of love?
Bailey Nicholson dreamed of finishing her Master's degree and settling in Boston while working alongside her boyfriend...
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May
One would think that when things in their lives start to align perfectly, they would feel relaxed and good about it.
You view the world in a new light. There's lightness and warmth. Everything would start to fall into place; contentment would wash over you. But that doesn't seem to be the case for me.
My relationship with Dad though oftentimes strained has never been better than before. Because of my renewed relationship with my father, I got to spend more time with Sophie and catch up on all the things I missed before because I was too stubborn to face Dad, which at the time meant avoiding Sophie.
Though, I do feel that for a 12-year-old, she's a bit too trusting for her own good. She's still a child at heart with a naive view, and I don't want her to grow up and face the world's harsh realities, where people are cruel and often have ulterior, selfish reasons for everything they do.
Or maybe the truth is that I've been burned by too many people, making it hard for me to trust people.
Maybe we both need to change our views and take off our rose-tinted glasses.
I've also been visiting a few NFL teams as management has flown me out to check out the team, the coaching staff, and the facilities.
While I had one day hoped to live the dream of playing football, I never thought I would be here. Experiencing it firsthand. I was ready to throw this part of my life away when I left for England because I was truly prepared to put Mum's needs ahead of my own. But when I came to know that she didn't really do anything for me, often leaving me to go hungry, I couldn't believe I was ready to throw aside one of my loves for her.
Speaking of Mum, I tried calling her once. It was right after we lost the playoffs in January, and I was in Miami visiting the team. I made sure to call her when I knew she would be home, at least according to her schedule. It was right around the time she would have usually woken up. I had stayed up to ensure I could get a hold of her.
But she didn't bother answering or calling back. Not days or weeks later. Not even now, months later.
There's a hollow void in my chest, twinging with unbearable pain. While it was Dad's fault for not telling me himself, Mum still carries considerable blame for it. She's at fault for lying, keeping secrets, and pretending she cared about me. Yet, she's avoiding me, not bothering to call or follow up to see what I wanted to talk to her about.
She's truly given up on me.
I don't know who's more pathetic, her or me, for holding onto hope all this time.
I've spent far too long caring about people who didn't care about me, and I should be done wasting my energy on them, but when it comes to her, I don't know why I can't just let it go.
I also haven't heard from Coach since January. He had gotten fired, and despite his idle threats, he has done nothing. Not even from this person that he supposedly worked with. Last I heard, he moved back home to a small town in Texas.
