Steady Hands lead to Steady Hearts

Will they, won't they pt 1

Hey guys!!
This is my first Steddie Fic! I hope you all enjoy!

*Canon Divergence*

Prologue
1983

It was 3 days before the start of his junior year, their summer love was creeping to an end. "Stevie..." Eddie muttered his hand reaching up to cup his cheek. Steve closed his eyes and leaned into his secret lover's touch. They hadn't ever labeled what they had between them. Ever since that day in detention, the one time Eddie actually went, they were practically inseparable. Eddie practically lived with him since his parents all but moved out of their home in Indiana.
Eddie knew it was only a matter of time when Steve Harrington would return to Hawkins High as King Steve. Straight playboy. It just had to be that way. No one not a soul knew their history. They intended on keeping it that way, it was safer. "No Eds..Not yet. Stay just a little longer." He pleaded, he was so tired of living the lie he would have to go back to. He just wanted to stay suspended forever frozen in time. Alone with Eddie Munson the boy he'd never admit to loving. "Okay sweetheart, I'll stay." He knew staying would make it even harder come the start of their school year but, he never claimed to be smart.

It had been worse than they could have imagined. They parted ways the night before school started. Steve stayed up all night crying. Self loathing and anger at himself, at the world. He cursed himself for being different. He knew it wasn't 'wrong' something that felt that way, couldn't be. The world however saw things differently.
They would probably never be together again. And for a while he was right. He'd steal a glance or two in the halls while he had his arm around Nancy. Nancy was good, she was refreshing. She was necessary. She was his answer. He prayed it would stay that way.

As for Eddie he didn't really date or anything for a while as he had a Steve shaped hole in his heart. Eddie was all but openly gay it wasn't a secret just never explicitly said. It was the seed of all of his pain. All of his bullying from the other closeted gays, the internalized homophobia coursing through their veins. And as much as he loved Steve he couldn't ask him to subject himself to the same. Steve had enough to worry about from his parents. Eddie really hated Steve's parents. At least he had Uncle Wayne. Wayne knew and he didn't understand but he loved him through it all. He cared for Steve too, Wayne was no fool, he saw the two together he knew what they had was special. Which is why when he learned the two had broken up, his heart broke for his nephew.
Eddie drowned his sorrows in drugs, specifically weed. He missed a lot of school that year. And got held back. Seeing Steve with Nancy was too much.

Everything changed in the following year when Dustin joined Hellfire. The little dork would ramble on and on about Steve. He was clearly a different guy than the one Eddie once knew. Better now. Kinder. More authentic even. Although hearing about him still stung, just a little bit.
Steve had broken up with Nancy, well Nancy had called them bullshit and maybe she was right. Somehow though it still hurt. He turned to Nancy for security but he truly did care for her. Thankfully his best friend, Robin had been there. He soon realized she was also gay and Steve had thanked whoever was listening that he met her.
Poor Eddie had gotten all roped in to their horrors of the Upside Down. Watching Chrissy go the way she did. Steve wanted to comfort him. He couldn't. Eddie wanted that too. They pretended to be mostly unaware of each other when they were "Introduced"
Eddie though, decided to come with them to defeat Vecna. That. That was Steve's breaking point. He flashes back to Eddie stepping forward before they split up. "Make him pay." He knew Eddie, he knew there was something else dancing behind his lips. It was never the right time though.
And now, Eddie laid dead in Dustin's arms.

Chapter 1

1986

12 days after the battle to end Vecna, 12 days Steve spent alone in his home. Ignoring the calls of his friends, Dustin, Robin, Nancy..pretty much anyone who he cared about. Guilt was an ocean he had been drowning in. He begged Eddie not to be a hero. And now he was gone and he, never got a chance to make things right. Seeing him again after all these years and his relationship with Dustin and the kids. Steve knew he was love sick all over again. Their flirting. The pretending not to notice his eyes, his smile. It took the bloodied corpse of the man that Steve knew that he loved for him to actually admit he loved him. Out loud. To himself of course but still. He wished that he could tell Eddie that everything regarding Nancy and everything about his conversation with Eddie was just fear of something he had long stowed away. And he was too cowardice to confront himself with the fact that he didn't want Nancy. He wanted Eddie. Steve stupidly was going to wait until after the big battle to confess and ask for a second chance.
Steve pulled himself from his spiraling thoughts when he heard a knock on the door, well it was less of a knock than a demanding pounding. "Steven Harrington so help me god!" Came the voice of the person he loved the most. Robin. He considers not answering but immediately gets up anyways because, as much as he loved Robin he knew how scary she could be. He pulled open the door not caring to hide the absolute wreck he was. Tear stained cheeks, red eyes, scruff. Robin opened her mouth, likely to yell at him but instead she sees the state of the man who ought to be her brother, she put on a sad smile and pulled him into a tight and silent hug. Then it's like the flood gates opened. After not having spoken to another person in nearly two weeks, tears and choked sobs poured from Steve. "I wasn't there to save him h-he's dead and I- should have been there. Dustin! God! Dustin he sat there as he DIED in his arms! He's gone!"
Robin walked with him through the doorway, wanting to actually get inside the home. There she knelt down with him and held him, letting him cry. "Steve..." She began her voice wavering "There's nothing you could have done, it's okay."
"No! Robin! It's not okay! I didn't- I didn't get to tell him!"
At this Robin turned her head, wearing a confused face. In return Steve wiped the tears from his face, he figured now was as good a time as ever. "Well not like it matters now...But Robin...I loved him. He and I well we kind of spent the summer of 83 together. It was the best two months of my life.
His voice was hoarse and at times barely audible. "Oh...oh! Steve. I know you're totally going through it right now but, I knew it!" She said as she clasped her hands together. Steve instead of getting angry just let out a half laugh half sob. "Of course you say that!" She burst into laughter, a hint of sadness in it. "We'll of course I did, I saw him flirting with you and I saw how flustered it made you! The fleeting glances, it was beyond obvious well- to me your neighborhood lesbian. Takes one to know one. Now of course I had no idea about all those years ago. But. Definitely knew something was going on!" She returned her gaze to him after her semi-truthful rambling. Okay okay, so she was totally on it. "Fine fine! Jesus Robin! Yes. Okay! I tried to convince myself that a life with Nancy was what I wanted! But in reality all of this has shown me...I just love her like I love you Robs." He but his lip slightly to try and hold back anymore tears. "I just wish, I had gotten to tell him too."
Robin stood up pulling Steve to his feet as well, "Okay now. You're not allowed to sit and wallow anymore. First things first my dear Steve; a shower. You reek. I'll clean up down here while you do that.
After little protest Steve made his way to the shower for the first time in several days.
Robin had helped him clean up like she promised. A while later the sun was setting in Hawkins, after having watched Rocky Horror Picture Show, Robins idea of course, she left Steve to rest for the light with the promise of her return the next day after her shift at the video store where she'd been covering for him.