Soulmate production [Chan x Reader]

[13] - I owe you

Chris POV

After a bit of pondering and connecting the dots, I finally understand the meaning behind her behavior. This brings a proud smirk to my face, but I suddenly remember what brought us downstairs in the first place. The fact that she was so upset, and so out of it. Now is certainly not the right time to make any dirty comments or tease her like that, no matter how adorable she looks when she gets all nervous and bright red. I ask her to keep her eyes closed, and finally put on a pair of sweatpants and a thin shirt, then sit down next to her.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about? You know... regarding what happened earlier?"

She simply shakes her head,
"I feel like I've been enough of a burden already."

I clench my jaw and look at her with a darker expression,
"Y/N", I drag the last syllable of her name.

She pouts in return. I know it's hard for her to open up, but I hate the fact that she thinks she's bothering me in any way. I could've left her to fend for herself. I chose to show up at our spot everyday, and I was the one to decide she could live here for a while. I want her here. I hope she will understand that in the future.

"I just... never really talked about the whole Mingi situation to anyone. It made me feel nervous", she explains.

I flatten my mouth and carefully place my hand on her leg, which makes her glance up at me.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, y/n. You didn't deserve any of it", I reassure her.

She shrugs her shoulders,
"I just hope Mingi will... regret it.. and apologize."

"Promise me you won't fall right back into his arms when he does, though. You need to give him the chance to actually change his behavior, instead of just hearing him say he will."

"I'm not falling into his arms regardless", she answers immediately.

Her sudden change of tone makes my eyebrows rise in surprise. She instantly sighs and pinches the bit of skin above the bridge of her nose. I can feel her gently move my hand away from her and move further back onto the bed. Why is she doing that? Did I make her uncomfortable?

"I'm sorry, y/n. I-"

"- No, please. You didn't know, Chris", she stops me, "It's okay."

Fuck, I DID make her uncomfortable. Why do I have to act on my impulsive thoughts every time? Think before you act, Chan. THINK. How do I fix this? I need to know what triggered her, but I'm scared if I ask her it'll only make her feel more nervous. What do I do? I glance down at my hands and notice myself fidgeting with the strings of my sweatpants, stopping myself immediately after realizing.

"There's so much you don't know. But I feel like I owe you an explanation for everything", she suddenly says.

"You don't owe me anything", I reply with a gentle grin on my face.

"No, I do. And I want to explain everything to you, but I don't even know where to begin. I'm scared that you'd think I'm weird if I can't find the right words, or that I'm crazy for the things I went through."

"That would only make me like you more, love."

Her mouth slowly falls open, and she quickly clears her throat and glances away awkwardly, which makes me chuckle.

"You're such an asshole, Chris", she stutters nervously and I can't help but smile.

It's cute to tease her. I don't know why. I don't understand why seeing her get all shy and hide behind her hair is so adorable to me, but it is. I suppose that's normal. She's one of my closest friends after all. Friend... something about that label doesn't feel right, but I can't think of anything that would fit better. Nothing she would be comfortable with, at least. I doubt she likes me in that way, and how would I know I love her? Or... like her. People around me say it's a spark you feel, and you KNOW it when you feel it. But how would I know? I've never experienced it before. I'm not sure what being in love means to me, and I don't know what it means to her. All she ever loved was Mingi, and that didn't turn out too great for her. She probably still has a very negative definition of love in her mind, and I can't blame her. Though, for some reason, I wish I could be the person to give the word love a different meaning for her. Suddenly I can feel a tug on the fabric of my shirt gently, making me look at her.