𝑩𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒐

Thirty

I raked my fingers in my hair while heavy breaths emitted my nose as I paced around the room.

I always knew he was a dangerous man and he had a shady business but for some reasons being in the mafia didn't cross my mind.

I wasn't scared but I am pissed at him for hiding such from me and it still baffles me because I saw him kill someone in front of me. The door busted open and he walked in looking mad.

Wait! why is he angry? I am the only person meant to be angry here.

"Why didn't you tell me Luciano?" I gritted out angrily.

"Gemma listen----- "No Luciano I don't want to listen to you. I should have known this was the kind of life you lived an----

"And have you runaway or report to the police. I didn't want to drag you into my messed up life and that is why I didn't tell you, to protect you. I didn't want to have you running away from me like all the other people". he yelled

"Fuck your excuses Luciano, so you didn't trust me enough to tell me because you thought I was no different from them?" It hurt that I wasn't different in his eyes but I swallowed the pain in.

"Ge---- a painful smile smeared on my lips.

"Yes Luciano, I know what you're doing is wrong and dangerous, I know killing people and trading dangerous weapons and drugs is not right but who am I to judge? For fuck sake Luciano I trusted you with my body despite having it at the back of mind that you are dangerous, I chose to stay with you but you couldn't trust me enough to tell me who you are and to top it all you compared me with other people who left you" I yelled with tears of anger and hurt burning in my eyes.

"Gemma--- "You are right Luciano like others I'll leave but the reason I'm leaving is not because of what you ever thought, it's because I am trying to save myself from heart break when I realize that someday our contract will end and I'll just be that lady that satisfied you"

"Gemma listen please" i gave him a painful smile and ran to my room. I did not pack all my clothes in hopes that I'll return back to him.

"Gemma stop this" he gripped my arm tightly that it hurt but not as much as the pain I was feeling in my heart.

"Let go of me Luciano, I have to go" my voice came out in a hush tone and I refused to look at his eyes because I know it'll make me weak.

"Gemma I apologize for what I did, I admit that I'm wrong but you really can't blame me'' To be honest I understood where he was coming from but it still hurt knowing he didn't trust me like I did and he didn't see me differently.

"All you had to do was trust me like i did trust you but you didn't, I'm sorry but I have to leave" the stubborn tears kept rolling down my eyes.

"Gemma-- he leaned in to kiss me but I couldn't let my emotions overwhelm the hurt I was feeling so I stopped him. "Vanilla" I said and immediately he let me go.

"Good bye Luciano" I told him and left. I wouldn't say forever because deep down i hope to be in his arms again. I didn't have the energy to book an uber so i let the driver he assigned to me take me back home.

I gave him my address and we left. I knew that if I looked back I'll break down so I rested my head on the window and shut my eyes letting the tears escape freely from my eyes.

~luciano~

I threw the closest thing to me and let it crash on the wall. It's all my fault. I always imagined the day she'd find out she would runaway because she would see me differently but no it was all in my head cause in reality she was ready to accept me.

She was ready to take me without judging my line of work, she was ready to be there for me but I pushed her away. She is the only good thing that has happened to me and I fucking pushed her away.

I need to get her back but first she needs her space and I'm ready to give it to her but I won't promise not to get her back.

The hurt and tears in those eyes created a sharp feeling in my chest. She was wrong about so many things, she is different from all other women and that is why she is my precious gem and I didn't make her sign that contract because she was another woman to satisfy my desire but because I want to keep her forever.

I really trust her but I don't know why I couldn't just let her know. I gripped my hair harshly and kept cursing myself.