Finding Neva-Land

The Beginning

Disclaimer: this contains, scenes of child abuse. If you do not wish to read please skip. However this is an important part of this story.

Like most evening, this is also no different to Zara. Her 8-year-old mind is fixed to a sheet of paper she has much been focused on for the past 15 minutes. There was no one around her and by the way she was humming to a song it did not feel like she was bothered to be alone. Someone who does not know Zara would think, what a creative artist she is. The way she is seated with color pencils splashed around her, watching from far, she would be sought to be an amazing artist. But the picture changes once someone comes close and look into the not so great, she had been focused on for the past 15 minutes.

Zara's focus and concentration gets broken when someone lifts her small frame and hug her. She shrieks in fear but soon calms down with the familiar scent she gets engulfed. It was her father who lifted her from the ground and disrupted her no so artistic moment. "Where is everyone?" her father questions. She shrugs her little shoulders and respond. "Mom is in aunts house, Ina, Ivy and Amy are with her, and I am not so sure where brother went" In one breath and with her jolly tone she explained everything to her father. "it's you and me then? Isn't it Zara". He started ticking her. Zara in her mind was loving this one-to-one attention she was getting from her father. It is not like her parents do not love her. But being the middle child, she always watched things unfold from a corner. She was more of a grandparent's child. She spent most of her time with her grandparents, and for her it was the most rewarding thing of her life. At a very young age, she understood, what matters having someone in her life who listens. And her grandparents always listen.

"Lets play with daddy". Zara started laughing at her father's silly nature. She normally doesn't get to see this side of her father. Being a middle-class family and having to raise 5 children, he normally is either very frustrated or exhausted. They hardly get to spend time as a family. Her father held her and went into room where her parents sleep. He kept her on the bed and went to get changed. When he returned, Zara was jumping on the bed. Laughing and enjoying this little moment she got to experience with her father. As soon as her father came back, he laid on the bed and asked Zara to come. Zara went to his father and laid on his arms. Zara was drifting off to sleep when she felt her panties being taken down. When she got startled and tried to get up, her father hushed her. "Do you want to play with daddy". Not knowing what his father was insinuating, she nodded her little head. Her father lifted her and placed her on his lap. Made her straddle him. Immediately she could feel something is poking her. She was shaking in fear. And she started struggling to get away. She was not aware of what was happening. But for some reason her body did not like what was happening. When she started crying, her father stared angry at her. "Do you want to be difficult Zara, If you don't help Daddy, Daddy will throw you away. Daddy will strangle your mom and kill her too". When her father said this. She immediately stopped crying. She did not make any sound and her little body was trembling. 

Her father did not give notice to anything that was happening and started touching her little body. He stripped her naked and touched her little frame which was still shaking in fear. Without giving any notice to it, he removed his sarong which he was wearing, getting himself naked in front of his little daughter. Immediately Zara closed her eyes shut. She has never seen anything as such and the image of seen something unfamiliar, made her unconsciously release a sob. She felt her father touching the part of her body and groaning. "Zara, baby, you are making daddy feel so happy. Once you are bigger, daddy will make you happy". Her father kept on making noises and Zara did not want to look at her father. Her trembling figure was shaking now more than ever with her eyes shut. Soon she felt her father going to toilet. She opened her eyes and immediately found her dress which was on the bed and wore it. Her father came out from toilet and grabbed her arms, looked straight in her eyes. She has never seen her father as such. "If you utter a word about this to anyone, you will not see the light of the day. Make sure you always come when I call you." With that he released her. 

This was the start of her shattered life.