My Life Story

Therapy (Loss and love)

I had a fairly normal childhood, traumatic, scary, but overall fun. After all I was living in the world of opportunity. I started school a year later than my class due to being adopted. Since I was adopted part of my brain function wasn't turned on and fully developed like a normal child's. At a young age I began OT( Occupational Therapy) in a place I believe was monona... It was hard but ultimately alot of fun. One day a little part of my brain turned on and I had to leave the session early due to a complete mental and emotional breakdown, All I remember was crying really hard and feeling like I couldn't breathe.Shortly after that incident I ended my treatment in Occupational Therapy and I haven't gone back since.

Therapy:OHHH what a joy. I always knew I  was different than the other kids. However, I had alot of emotional baggage. My parents took me to many different therapists. The first therapists I saw was named C( full name not listed) she was a wonderful therapist, and overtime I began to open up.. which still is no easy task for me or for anyone really in therapy. You have to get used to a complete stranger knowing every gory detail of your life, and when they ask you a question you have to answer otherwise they think you're emotionally dissociating or something. Then one day we got the news that C had to leave, because this therapy job was only a part time job, and her full time job situation was causing her to leave. This was the first therapist that left me. I lost my mother at a young age.. and because of that losing people is a traumatic experience for me and still is. Then I started up therapy with a new therapist named Abbi. She was new to the business and had recently got her licence, I liked her but she wasn't the perfect fit for me, I still tried though. A year later she left as well. At this point I was annoyed why did they have to leave?? so we switched facilities and went to a new place in Monona called Living Well Counseling.

There I started therapy with a new lady named Anne she was an amazing therapist. However my demons choked my heart, and for months I wasn't able to open up to her, opening up continues to be a hard thing for me to do, and I fear that It will always be like that.  We talked about normal things, then she introduced a new type of therapy called brainspotting. The therapist has a pointer and you look at it, while thinking about something that currently or has been bother you for quite awhile.By doing this, your brain sends out neurotransmitters and your body releases and lets go naturally of  traumatic memories and events. Physical symptoms vary from patient to patient, its and exhausting and painful process, and once you start the session you have to fight to stay in those painful moments, at times it becomes unbearable, and you don't really know what is happening to you, in the end though you feel better, it"s quite an experience. Due to medical conditions Anne had to leave. Her leaving was so abrupt, and quite a shock... I still miss her, a therapist is both your advocate and sometimes you worst enemy, they come to know everything about you, and they help you as you face your worst memories and worst nightmares.