Chapter thirteen

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His thoughts drifted in an entirely different direction. He was now thinking about what he would be up to if he had made it to Tammut. Fiddling with his broken wristwatch, Jet's heart felt as shattered as the glass. Maybe this was his punishment for what he intended to do once he got to Tammut.

            He blinked the tears away as those memories he wished he could forget forever started reverberating in his muddled head. He looked at Rain. Regret gripped his heart like a massive python.

Pushing himself off the ground, he walked to where Rain was sitting. He looked up at Jet with an unwelcoming expression. Jet evaluated the situation- what to say, how to make Rain feel better.

He had never dealt with anyone like this before.

How did he make the pain that had lived in him for so long go away?

How did he make him understand, after a lifetime of being hurt by people, that Jet just wanted to help him?

            He sat on the end of the altar, his mind still determined to torment him with those bitter memories.

"You know why I really came here, Rain?"

Rain's lips remained tightly pressed together, and after a few agonizing seconds, he shook his head.

"I was running." Though Rain had no interest in knowing, Jet wanted to tell him the truth.

"From what?" he asked.

"From myself."

He lifted his gaze, his attention on the weaving broken. "What do you mean you were running from yourself?"

"My fiancée, who I told you about - a couple of months ago, I walked in on her and my best friend together. I was mad, furious. I lost it and hit him and threatened to kill them. She called the police on me, and they calmed me down."

Rain's eyes were as curious as a cat's.

"That night, I found myself just driving with no destination. I was drunker than a sailor and high on painkillers. I hit a woman with my car. She just popped out of nowhere. I couldn't react in time, and I sent her flying five feet in the air. She died on the spot. She didn't even have a chance. I felt so bad for her. I just wanted to die. I had visions of putting a gun to my head and pulling the trigger. She had a husband and three kids, and I felt so bad for them. My Mom told me on the phone that my father had taken care of everything back home. I don't know what she means by that, but it doesn't make me feel any better. It's like that woman didn't matter. I took her life, and I get to live mine."

"It's not your fault. Bad things happen."

"I ah...came here to get some help from my grandparents. Get sober and stop using drugs and pills. It was all going great for me. My grandma is great at helping people find their way. Then, while talking to my aunt, she gave me a proposition. I was on my way to see her to finalize a hit on my ex and her new boyfriend."

Rain's body tensed. A worried look deepened on his face.

"Killing someone won't make the pain go away. I hope you understand that. Trust in god and his justice. Everyone gets what they deserve. Besides, you have a good life, Jet. Loving parents, grandparents, financial stability, a great future, why risk it?"

"I feel like they caused that woman to die."

"No one caused it! It was just how she had to leave this earth. It was god's final chapter in the book of her life."

"I wish I could believe that. I really do."

"Jet, promise me you won't carry out this plan when you leave here."

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