𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴

Chapter 1

My head was buzzing. It felt like a thousand bees were flying through my head, hitting my brain with every movement. I could feel the deep pump of the stereo in every cell of my sore body. I wasn't sure if the arms that i felt on my torso were even my own. I felt everything and way too much of it, but then I simply felt nothing. Just tingling numbness.
I peeled open my eyelids, just a tiny bit. My sight was blurry, the room way too bright for my liking, but I opened my eyes anyways. Staring at the white ceiling, I let the moment crash down on my hazy mind. I didn't trust my muscles to hold up my upper body yet, so I just continued analyzing the structured ceiling. Has there always been those dark marks on the wall? The landlord would kill us if he knew. In a weird kind of way that made me smile. I closed my eyes again. Until I felt hands on the waistband of my pants, that definitely weren't mine. I was sure this time.
My eyes flew open way too quickly, making my head spin, and my upper body shooting up straight, catching the unknown hands. I blinked hard to make out the face in front of me, but I couldn't recognize those eyes that were looking impatiently at my naked chest. I swung my legs over the edge of my bed, standing up. While I struggled to keep my body up, my head was burning up in flames. A shaking hand went up to my face, stroking over my sweaty forehead. My fingers were tingling, the feeling spreading down into my wobbly legs. My vision was still blurry, slightly swaying left to right, even though I was almost sure I was standing up straight.
My mouth felt dry, like a desert and me in it, helplessly searching for water, but everything my eyes land on is sand. The stranger already forgotten, I stumbled towards the door, almost slipping on a pool of golden liquid on the soaked floor. The doorknob felt piercing cold on my overheated skin, my hand leaving a sweaty mark on it. I shakily wiped my hands on the pants that were hanging low on my bony hips, accidentally pulling them even deeper, the material starting to pool around my ankles.
Stepping over someone lying on the floor and kicking away a bottle, I managed to hold my head under the tap in the kitchen. I closed my aching eyes, feeling the cold water running down my dry throat. I heard footsteps behind me, someone quietly leaving the kitchen and a moment later closing the door to the flat behind them. Hopefully it was the girl from earlier, but even if it wasn't, one person less to tidy up.
I turned off the running water and heaved myself onto the kitchen counter, kicking a bunch of red plastic cups onto the sticky floor. Eyeing the messy room, I rummage around in the pocket of my pants, fishing out a little package with white powder in it. Leaning my head back against a cupboard, I carefully opened it and slightly leaned forward to form it into a perfect little line on the counter top. Almost falling head first off of the counter, I inhaled the snowy substance, pushing my body up on trembling arms. A warm feeling filled my head and after a few moments, I pushed myself down, stepping into a large puddle of god knows what that slowly seeped out of one of the cups I kicked down. Sleepily, I sorted my way through the mass of sticky cups, broken bottles and cigarettes splattered around the kitchen, stuffing everything into trash bags and leaving them next to the door.
While lighting a cigarette I found on the kitchen island, I stepped onto the balcony. Blowing the smoke into the cold February air, I leaned my forearms onto the metallic railing, looking down onto the busy street. It was a particularly cold day, but I didn't really notice my skin slowly covering in goosebumps, my head way too clouded to notice anything.
The door to the balcony got pulled open, a blonde head sticking out. "I'm leaving", Sabrina stated, pulling on her black leather jacket. I nodded, almost unnoticeable, but she didn't come out here to ask for my permission anyways. She made a step onto the balcony, coming towards me. "You good?", she asked, wiping away some leftover powder from under my nose. I nodded again, closing my eyes. Maybe if I wished for it hard enough, she would finally leave like she announced earlier. Don't get me wrong. I like Sab, I really do. But she worries too much. It destroys my high.
"I thought you didn't want to use before you meet your dad", she asked, but it wasn't really a question. It sounded more like an accusation. And she was right of course, but it still made me mad. I stood up a little straighter, taking my arms from the cold metal. "I'm fine, Ritu. I didn't even take that much. He won't notice", I reassured her, but even I could tell that I was slightly slurring my words. She folded her arms in front of her chest, her face stern. She seemed to try and remember the last night, deciding if I was saying the truth. She seemed to be content with my answer, because her face relaxed and she let out a loud sigh. I don't think I even saw her last night, if I'm honest. I was busy snorting coke from some random girls stomach. But considering Sab's expression, I was out of her sight. I grinned innocently at her, leaning against the railing again. Nodding once again, she turned around and left without another word, closing the door behind her. Satisfied, I closed my eyes once again, deeply inhaling the smoke from my almost burned out cigarette. I let it fall down onto the street under the balcony, turning around and getting back inside.
Happy Birthday to me.